Mar 09

Lindsay LohanScreenwriter Greg Tung set out to conquer every one of his fears in 365 days.  He documented all of it on scareyourselfeveryday.com.  Did he ride shotgun with Lindsay Lohan?
(The Real Story) 


 

Chuck E. CheeseParents of a MD 3-year-old forgot their daughter at Chuck E Cheese and didn’t realize she was gone until they saw her on the news.  They share custody and both assumed she went home with the other.  There was even a 25-token reward for anyone able to find her parents.
(The Real Story)  


 

SimCityElectronic Arts is breaking ground on a new “SimCity.”  The last one was in 2003.  It’s fun, but not nearly as intense as “SimCity: Doomsday Prepper Edition.”
(The Real Story)  


 

mantyhoseEmilio Cavallini’s sales of unisex pantyhose are strong, as men are now wearing tights for style as much as warmth.  They’re being called mantyhose, brosiery, and guylons.  Men may have pantyhose now, but it will be awhile before they get as good at putting them on while driving as women are.
(The Real Story)  


 

Andre the GiantHulk Hogan says the sex tape of him being shopped to porn companies was “secretly filmed” without his permission.  Hulk is with a mystery brunette in it.  It’s especially embarrassing because if he wasn’t dead, many would swear that brunette was Andre the Giant.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Feb 07

Kim ZolchiakA stomach virus hit passengers and crew on a Princess Cruise Lines ship sailing from south FL.  The Norovirus causes vomiting, diarrhea and stomach pain.  And the crew is even trained to resist such things using Kim Zolchiak’s CD.
(The Real Story) 


 

Keebler ElfA family out gathering mushrooms huddled lost near an OR forest for 6 days.  The couple and their 25-year-old son drank from streams and took shelter in a hollowed-out tree.  They stayed in the tree believing elves there would bake fudge-striped cookies and feed them.
(The Real Story)  


 

stoningA NC woman read the Bible to her attacker for an hour and a half after he slashed her throat.  He listened to the verses carefully, apologized and left.  Sadly, having been given other ideas from the Bible, the man later returned and stoned her.
(The Real Story)  


 

Helen ThomasA study by Match.com found that self-described single, conservative Republicans are more likely to achieve orgasm during sex than any other political persuasion.  Naturally, because liberal Democrats feel a sense of entitlement to an orgasm.
(The Real Story)  


 

wrestlerA Newark man died after a tussle with a former high school wrestler he tried to rob of his cell phone.  He was put in a headlock strong enough it choked him to death.  No charges were filed, because in all fairness, the robber never tapped out.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Dec 13

Bookmark the main Stiles Files site for the 10 funniest things on the web daily

 

Mitt RomneyAt the GOP debate in Des Moines, Mitt Romney tried to get Rick Perry to bet him $10,000 he was wrong about something in Romney’s book.  Then when Perry refused, Romney put a cigar in his mouth and lit it with the $10,000 bill, laughing maniacally.
(The Real Story)


 

MercuryIs a cloaked alien ship orbiting Mercury?  A solar flare appears to hit a hidden object cylindrical on either side with a shape in the middle.  If it is a ship, it’s probably full of elderly aliens who wanted to be near Mercury to escape the harsh winters.
(The Real Story)


 

Easy Bake OvenResearch found the culprit of a 2009 E. coli outbreak was prepackaged cookie dough.  77 people from 30 states became ill from the bad batter.  If this is the case, how did countless generations survive the Easy-Bake Oven?
(The Real Story)


 

Hulk HoganHulk Hogan is suing his ex, claiming she lied about him having homosexual encounters in her new book.  Um, when you wear shredded red and yellow tank tops, you pretty much have to expect us to assume there was at least some homoerotic activity going on.
(The Real Story)


 

Vegas signRunners who participated in the Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon in Vegas say water passed out during the race made them sick.  The drinks came from lined trash cans filled with hydrant water.  And, it being Vegas, runners were obligated to a 2-drink minimum.
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com
    @TheStilesFiles

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Aug 04

The Blog Monologue

 

wrestlerEmergency legislation passed, avoiding a first-ever government default, getting it to Obama for his signature hours before deadline.  The only other career where you’re sure you’ve done your job if everybody hates you is “wrestling villain.”


 

nuclearA resident of a small town along the coast of Sweden built his own radioactive power plant…in his kitchen.  The man’s microwave was heard to say, “Screw it, I can’t compete with that.”


 

Krispy KremeNew research finds the hungry brain cells of dieters release “feed me” signals, which drive hunger, slow metabolism and may cause diets to fail.  Other “feed me” signals also play a part, such as the “Hot Doughnuts Now” sign at Krispy Kreme.


 

HaloThe National Security Agency hopes to hire a mass of “cyber warriors” to help fight the increasingly intense international cyber war.  It’s an easy recruiting job.  Pretty much all you have to do is promise to let them wear Halo uniforms.


 

space heaterA Thai temple lets people “rehearse” death with a mock funeral.  You stand at your coffin, hold flowers and pray for bad luck to go away.  Monks chant while you lie in your coffin, then splash you with holy water.  Optionally, you can rehearse cremation by standing real close to a space heater.


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

 

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com    @mikestiles

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Feb 20

(Delayed 24 hours for radio/TV clients)

An IA high school wrestler favored to win his weight class defaulted on his first-round state tournament match rather than face one of the first girls to ever qualify for the event.  Most states require girls to wrestle boys.  Which adequately prepares them to one day be on Jerry Springer.


Experts say not enough people are taking the security of their smartphones seriously.  They suggest things like activating its password lock and making your password tougher.  What’s the use?  No matter what password I use, Watson the Jeopardy-playing computer will figure it out.


The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission is finding out hiring discrimination against the unemployed is running rampant.  They won’t even talk to you if you’ve been out of work over 6 months.  Apparently skills such as History Channel watching, wearing a robe for 4 days straight and staring at phones that never ring aren’t widely sought after.


The Commerce Dept. says up to 1 in 10 Americans can’t get Internet connections fast enough for common tasks.  And just 4% of libraries have connections faster than 25mbs.  Those living in rural areas without broadband can go to www.stickyourheadoutthewindow andhollerattheyoungnsitsdinnertime.gov.


Lonely astronauts on the space station may soon get a talking humanoid robot from Japan.   It would monitor their health and provide astronauts with “comfort and companionship.”  Anyone will tell you, when there’s a woman up there, lonely astronauts can be all robot-arms.


Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

©2010, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com

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