Apr 24

fireA super energy saving LED bulb from Philips, said to last over 20 years, went on sale online and in stores for $50.  They will next start working on wood-burning hi-def TV’s.
(The Real Story) 


 

old ladyIran says it recovered data from our spy drone that went down there last year, and they’re building a copy of it.  It’s the geo-political version of accidentally throwing your Frisbee into an old lady’s yard who won’t give it back.
(The Real Story)  


 

Coca-Cola polar bearExperts in New Zealand say Natasha Harris’ 2-gallon-a-day Coca-Cola consumption “probably” contributed to her death.  The good news is that obviously, she had enough Coke Reward Points to pay for the whole funeral.
(The Real Story)  


 

Cesar Millan“Dog Whisperer” host Cesar Millan’s divorce was finalized.  Cesar cited among reasons for the divorce his inability to establish himself as the alpha-male.
(The Real Story)  


 

David Copperfield“American Idol” Season 5 winner Taylor Hicks is getting his own short-term show on the Vegas Strip.  He’s the first winner or finalist to secure such a gig.  Well, it’s not exactly his show.  He sings 1 song while David Copperfield cuts him in half.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Apr 21

IV bagA Vegas anesthesiologist offers a “cure” for hangovers in 45 minutes or less.  For $150, he connects you to an IV in his bus.  Great, but will he also stuff your pockets with the cash you lost at the tables the night before?
(The Real Story) 


 

Secret ServiceSpirit Airlines seized the Secret Service sex scandals as a marketing opportunity.  It’s a “More Bang For Your Buck!” sale on flights to Colombia.  You can even start a fight by refusing to pay, just like the real Secret Service!
(The Real Story)  


 

Chris ChristieNJ Gov. Chris Christie insists he was listening, not sleeping, during a recent Springsteen concert.  A fan caught a photo of him with his head back and eyes closed.  Maybe he was just picturing himself as Vice President.
(The Real Story)  


 

Young coupleYoung Americans aren’t that eager to get drivers’ licenses or drive.  Who needs a car when parents these days let them have sex right there in the house?
(The Real Story)  


 

Shanghai SurpriseMadonna wasn’t happy 15-year-old daughter Lourdes was photographed smoking outside her high school.  Give her a break.  It’s not as if she did a remake of “Shanghai Surprise” or anything.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Apr 20

Ted NugentTed Nugent met with the Secret Service over his comment, “If Obama becomes president in November, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year.”  For most musicians, “I’ll be dead or in jail this time next year” is a foregone conclusion.
(The Real Story) 


 

college football trophyThe $30,000 crystal national championship football trophy at the University of Alabama was accidentally shattered by a player’s dad.  He bumped the table it was on.  That’s a lie, he pretended he scored a touchdown and spiked it.
(The Real Story)  


 

scalpelAn inmate in SD is suing a hospital for circumcising him 30 years ago.  He says he was only “recently made aware I had been circumcised.”  Wow, if you aren’t made aware during the circumcision, you never will be.
(The Real Story)  


 

Lost in Space robotResearchers say the future of prostitution and sex tourism is robots!  Sex robot company True Companion says the trend is already growing.  Plus if the robot isn’t clean or safe, it waves its arms in the air and says, “Warning!  Danger!”
(The Real Story)  


 

Britney SpearsLooks like Britney Spears will be a judge on “X Factor” for $15 million next season.  And adding in an element from “The Bachelor,” the winner will get to marry Britney in Vegas.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Feb 22

mobile videoYouTube is creating tons more original programming since 18-34 year olds are watching video on phones, tablets and computers.  What’s sad are the ones who watch the same video over and over on their phone and complain there’s nothing on but repeats.
(The Real Story) 


 

wedgieA growing number of teens and even younger kids who think they were born the wrong sex are getting support from parents and docs who give them sex-changing treatments.  These include getting an atomic wedgie in PE.
(The Real Story)  


 

cowThe world’s first “test-tube” meat, a burger made from a cow’s stem cells, will be produced this fall.  No way!  Before I eat a burger I demand to know who the father is!
(The Real Story)  


 

Chris TuckerBritain is facing a “massive” rise in antibiotic-resistant blood poisoning caused by E.coli, bringing closer the possibility of diseases impossible to treat.  Officials say the diseases resist antibiotics like Chris Tucker resists taxes.
(The Real Story)  


 

Elton JohnElton John came down with a nasty case of food poisoning in Vegas and had to cancel a show at Caesars Palace.  His stomach was so bad, he was lighting candles in the wind just as a courtesy to those near the restroom.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Feb 17

triple bypass burgerA man had a heart attack after eating a “triple bypass burger” at the Heart Attack Grill in Vegas.  It’s not as if he overate, he told them to hold the lettuce.
(The Real Story) 


 

Ashton Kuther, Demi MoorePrince Will and Kate are getting a Barbie limited edition “William and Catherine Royal Wedding Gift Set.”  The series also featured Edward and Bella of “Twilight.”  The Ashton Kutcher/Demi Moore set is fun too.  You get to separate them right out of the box.
(The Real Story)  


 

StarbucksStarbucks is facing allegations from a job applicant who claimed he was discriminated against because he has half an arm.  It’s believed he would have reminded customers coffee there costs an arm and a leg.
(The Real Story)  


 

ping pong paddleSusan Sarandon donated $75,000 to support Ping Pong in NYC public schools.  The money will pay for equipment and coaching.  That’s sure not what paddles were used for at my school.
(The Real Story)  


 

Dave MustaineDave Mustaine, leader of Megadeth, is a Rick Santorum supporter!  He says Obama’s not doing a good job.  Of course, he also thinks “Keystone Pipeline” was a band from Canada Obama wouldn’t let perform here.
(The Real Story) 


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Feb 04

Married coupleModamily.com is a new site that pairs couples interested in “co-parenting” arrangements.  It involves forming a sexless, platonic union just to have and raise kids.  The only flaw with the plan is that marriage is often a sexless, platonic union.
(The Real Story) 


 

Costa ConcordiaPunxsutawney Phil saw his shadow so it will be awhile before spring.  In related news, the captain of the Costa Concordia saw his shadow, got scared and ran.
(The Real Story) 


 

Solar SystemNASA says beyond our solar system is a strange and very different place.  Our only hope of finding out for sure what it’s like is if Newt also proposes an edge-of-the-solar-system galactic outpost.
(The Real Story)  


 

Peeing statueA famous bronze statue in Brussels of a young boy urinating that’s a major tourist attraction had to stop peeing because of cold temps.  Freezing could damage his internal mechanisms.  Considering how old the statue is, it only makes it more realistic if he has trouble getting it started.
(The Real Story)  


 

Winnie CooperFred Savage says he think his “Wonder Years” character Kevin Arnold would probably have grown up to be a writer or educator since he did all that deep thinking.  What did you expect him to say, that he’d be pimping out Winnie Cooper in Vegas?
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Dec 13

Bookmark the main Stiles Files site for the 10 funniest things on the web daily

 

Mitt RomneyAt the GOP debate in Des Moines, Mitt Romney tried to get Rick Perry to bet him $10,000 he was wrong about something in Romney’s book.  Then when Perry refused, Romney put a cigar in his mouth and lit it with the $10,000 bill, laughing maniacally.
(The Real Story)


 

MercuryIs a cloaked alien ship orbiting Mercury?  A solar flare appears to hit a hidden object cylindrical on either side with a shape in the middle.  If it is a ship, it’s probably full of elderly aliens who wanted to be near Mercury to escape the harsh winters.
(The Real Story)


 

Easy Bake OvenResearch found the culprit of a 2009 E. coli outbreak was prepackaged cookie dough.  77 people from 30 states became ill from the bad batter.  If this is the case, how did countless generations survive the Easy-Bake Oven?
(The Real Story)


 

Hulk HoganHulk Hogan is suing his ex, claiming she lied about him having homosexual encounters in her new book.  Um, when you wear shredded red and yellow tank tops, you pretty much have to expect us to assume there was at least some homoerotic activity going on.
(The Real Story)


 

Vegas signRunners who participated in the Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon in Vegas say water passed out during the race made them sick.  The drinks came from lined trash cans filled with hydrant water.  And, it being Vegas, runners were obligated to a 2-drink minimum.
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com
    @TheStilesFiles

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Nov 30

Bookmark the main Stiles Files site for the 10 Funniest Things on the Web Daily

 

pepper sprayA strong start to the shopping season sent stocks sharply higher.  People who used pepper spray on other traders are the ones who got the best stock deals.
(The Real Story)


 

car fireGM insists its Chevy Volt is safe even after 3 of the Volt’s electric batteries caught fire after safety tests.  Isn’t the solution obvious?  Develop cars that run on fire.
(The Real Story)


 

pole dancerThe price of the items in the “Twelve Days of Christmas” went over $100,000 for the first time.  If you’re an NBA player in a Vegas VIP lounge, dancing ladies alone can run up a $30,000 tab.
(The Real Story)


 

fatA Cleveland 3rd grader who weighed over 200 lbs. was taken from his mom for medical neglect.  Just as well.  The other kids were tired of him always bringing in “bad cholesterol” for show and tell.
(The Real Story)


 

Frosty the SnowmanA man in a Frosty the Snowman costume was arrested during a Christmas parade in MD for fighting with police and kicking at a police dog.  Tense as the situation was, no one could stop laughing when cops ordered him to freeze.
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com
    @mikestiles

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Nov 29

Bookmark the main Stiles Files site for the 10 Funniest Things on the Web Daily

 

pepper sprayCustomers getting pepper-sprayed, looters, blood in the aisles, and death.  That was Black Friday in America.  Probably not such a good idea to make pepper-spray one of the doorbuster items.
(The Real Story)


 

Magic 8 BallObama upset some folks by eliminating God from his Thanksgiving-themed weekly Internet address.  He said his family was “reflecting on how lucky we are.”  Which leads many to believe he makes decisions using one of those Magic 8-Balls.
(The Real Story)


 

TwitterKansas’ Governor squealed on an 18-year-old girl who tweeted during a state capitol visit.  She had to write letters of apology.  The worst part was the letters had to be longer than 140 characters.
(The Real Story)


 

dead birdAuthor Barbara Walsh sugarcoats nothing in her children’s book “Sammy in the Sky,” which is intended to help kids deal with the death of a pet.  This is the follow-up to her earlier book, “Oh Well, Time to Flush Tweetie.”
(The Real Story)


 

Paris HiltonParis Hilton did her part to help the economy by buying a 2012 California Spyder Ferrari worth $300,000.  She also has 2 Bentleys, a Lexus LFA, a hybrid Escalade and a Range Rover.  It’s getting so it’s hard to know which vehicle to get busted for cocaine possession in Vegas in.
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com
    @mikestiles

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Nov 10

Bookmark the main Stiles Files site for the 10 Funniest Things on the Web Daily

 

PropofolThe UN nuke watchdog says Iran has worked on developing an atomic bomb design and may still be doing research on it.  They’re also secretly trying to develop a safer sleeping drug for celebrities than Propofol.
(The Real Story)


 

KindleTo make voting easier for the elderly and disabled, 5 counties in OR can cast their votes on iPads.  There hasn’t been news this big since they announced you can download Obama’s teleprompter in advance to your Kindle.
(The Real Story)


 

Occupy Wall StreetA Japanese company has a new robot exo-skeleton that aims to speed up the cleanup at Fukushima.  If it works there, they may use it to clean out the Occupy Wall Street campsite.
(The Real Story)


 

Norman BatesRussian police arrested a man for digging up 29 corpses and dressing the remains in female clothing to display around his house.  Hey, it’s better than back in the Soviet days when you had to wait in a really long line to dig up corpses.
(The Real Story)


 

SnickersCandy Spelling, wife of producer Aaron Spelling, won $90,000 on the slots in Vegas.  In 2007, she won $200k, and in 2008, she won $180k.  And she won a car in a charity raffle a few years ago.  In a related story, a homeless person found a Snicker’s wrapper, but it was empty.
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com
    @mikestiles

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