Mar 23

Jeb BushFormer FL Gov. Jeb Bush endorsed Mitt Romney as the Republican primary nominee.  He also boldly predicted the New York Giants will beat the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLVI.
(The Real Story) 


 

Newt GingrichA study says for narcissists, Facebook may promote anti-social behavior.  Narcissism is “a pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration and an exaggerated sense of self-importance.”  Or you can look up Newt Gingrich on Wikipedia.
(The Real Story)  


 

zumbaScientists are baffled by the source of mysterious booms and shaking that have plagued Clintonville, WI for 3 days.  Some residents have even fled.  All because of a secret midnight Zumba class for women over 300 lbs.?
(The Real Story)  


 

Black SwanThe epic movie “Noah” starts filming in July with Russell Crowe.  The movie will be helmed by the director of “Black Swan.”  He does understand loading things onto the ark two-by-two shouldn’t include two hot ballerina girls, right?
(The Real Story)  


 

examAn FAU professor was reviewing with his evolution class for a midterm when student Jonatha Carr screamed, “How does evolution kill black people!?”  Carr then got violent.  Joke’s on her, that question isn’t even going to be on the test.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Feb 25

angry birdsBASE-jumper Jeb Corliss, known as the “Bird Man,” will keep jumping despite barreling into rocks at 120 miles an hour.  If the Bird Man was going to have an accident, you’d think he’d have flown into a clean window.
(The Real Story) 


 

French girlThe French will no longer make single women use the title Mademoiselle.  Some argued it’s sexist.  So I guess they wouldn’t like it here in America where many women carry the title of “my bitches.”
(The Real Story) 


 

MadonnaMadonna’s single “Gimme All Your Luvin’” is a flop, despite launching to an audience of 114 million at the Super Bowl.  On the bright side, the guy who bounced on a wire with his groin has a best-selling DVD out.
(The Real Story)  


 

fur trapperAn OH woman solicited a hit man to shoot or cut the throat of a random fur-wearer.  She wanted them dead within 2 minutes and wanted to be there to hand out leaflets afterward.  Wouldn’t it make more sense to hire a fur-trapper?
(The Real Story)  


 

Charlie SheenA former DC police commander whose special ops unit escorted Charlie Sheen to a show will file a whistleblower suit, alleging he was demoted for saying that was common.  It’s not the kind of escort that usually gets Charlie Sheen in trouble.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Feb 16

Tom BradyAll the remaining candidates can tout first place finishes in at least one state, except for Ron Paul.  Despite heavy investment in caucus states, he has yet to win one.  That’s okay.  Tom Brady can’t come in first anymore but he still keeps trying too.
(The Real Story) 


 

TwinkieWorkers at Hostess, maker of Twinkies, Ho Hos and Wonder Bread, have threatened to strike if the company imposes “unfair” contract terms like wage cuts.  Most workers are rejecting “all the cream filling you want” as part of their official compensation package.
(The Real Story)  


 

OprahOprah got in trouble with ratings company Nielsen for specifically encouraging Nielsen families to watch her new interview show on OWN.  Obviously it was also wrong of her to offer free cars to every Nielsen family who watched too.
(The Real Story)  


 

WD-40Director Michael Bay plans a 4th installment in “Transformers.”  This one is going to have lots of obvious product placement in it…mostly WD40.
(The Real Story)  


 

Robin WilliamsLast week, a video surfaced claiming to show a live woolly mammoth crossing a river in Russia.  It became an Internet sensation, but turned out to be a hoax.  Turns out it was just a Robin Williams movie.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Feb 10

Ann RomneyRick Santorum stunned Mitt Romney, winning the Colorado and Minnesota caucuses, and Missouri’s nonbinding primary.  Mitt’s wife was caught on camera yelling, “Mitt can’t campaign for the [expletive] votes and [expletive] cast the votes!”
(The Real Story)


 

blood pressure machineSpermCheck, a male fertility test, will soon be in Walgreen’s and CVS.  Of course, it will be terribly awkward when guys mistake the free blood pressure check machine for the SpermCheck.
(The Real Story)


 

Gary BuseyGary Busey has filed for bankruptcy with less than $50,000 in assets.  And every movie studio in town has turned down his idea to make a sequel to “The Buddy Holly Story” where he comes back as a zombie.
(The Real Story)


 

Justice LeagueThe Model Alliance has been formed to make sure models aren’t mistreated.  Most evil masterminds would much rather be taken down by the Model Alliance than the Justice League.
(The Real Story)


 

carChicago must decide what to do about a vehicle sticker design containing gang symbols tied to the Maniac Latin Disciples.  It also doesn’t help that the slogan on car tags says, “This is My Ride Bitches!”
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Oct 05

The Blog Monologue

 

casketA researcher was awarded the Nobel Prize, 3 days after dying of pancreatic cancer.  The prize was for physics for the man’s groundbreaking work in bad timing.


 

homelessA study shows playing soccer 2-3 times a week could improve health among homeless men.  The game is especially healthy for them, because if they stop moving at any time during it, a cop hassles them for loitering.


 

MadonnaMadonna will be the halftime performer for Super Bowl XLVI.  At 53, she’s actually considered “safe.”  They figure even if she does try to take her clothes off, she moves slow enough they’ll have time to point the cameras somewhere else.


 

raveA rescue chopper spotted a little girl who was lost in the woods thanks to her glow-in the-dark necklace.  She was camping with her family in CA when she wandered off on her own…obviously looking for a rave.


 

kickerMichigan’s Brianna Amat kicked a 31-yard, game-winning field goal for her varsity football team…right after being crowned homecoming queen.  Upon graduating, Brianna plans to play for the NY Jets, where she will harass herself.


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

 

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com    @mikestiles

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Feb 09

(Delayed 24 hours for radio/TV clients)

Super Bowl viewership beat last year’s record-setting game by a projected 3%.  Viewership was so high, an estimated 24 more girls recognized Ben Roethlisberger.


Qigong is a Chinese mind-body practice to boost your vital energy that’s going mainstream.  It requires no equipment, can be done anywhere, and it’s easy, which is also how we describe JWoww here in this country.


Sacramento’s Josh Abken had a tumor the size of a soccer ball removed.  It apparently had been growing for at least a decade.  And as soon as it was described as “soccer ball sized,” American doctors stopped caring about it.


A measure letting judges punish parents of teens who engage in “sexting” was introduced in TX.  A 2008 study showed 22% of teen girls sent or posted nude or semi-nude pics of themselves.  It’s sort of like when Hermione got in trouble at Hogwart’s for “hexting.”


Old rock stars are finding a new stage in college classrooms as professors.  Steve Miller, and Mark Volman of the Turtles just to name two.  The students like it, although a lot of the old rockers frequently disappear into the chemistry lab for some reason.


Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

©2010, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com

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Feb 04

(Delayed 24 hours for radio/TV clients)

A daily newspaper designed by News Corp. exclusively for iPad is available for $40 annually.  For an extra $10/year they’ll throw your iPad on the roof to remind you of the good old days of newspaper delivery.


An orbiting NASA telescope is finding over 50 potential planets in the habitable zone.  Now they’ll look for the basic conditions needed to support life, like proper size, composition, and temperature.  And a Starbucks.


A Muslim advocacy group hopes to groom a crop of aspiring Muslim screenwriters to change their image in Hollywood.  First up, the teen thriller, “I Know You Showed Your Ankles Last Summer!”


Steelers linebacker James Harrison is still criticizing the NFL, calling the NFL’s talk of protecting players “a show.”  He was fined $100,000 for illegal hits this season.  He’s even been accused of punching Anderson Cooper in the head over in Egypt.


A Broward County elementary school teacher is in trouble for getting massages from her students.  So that’s where the French fry oil from the cafeteria disappeared to.


Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

©2010, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com

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Jan 29

(Delayed 24 hours for radio/TV clients)

Teach For America, which places recent college grads in low-income public schools, is getting $100 million from 4 philanthropists.  And since these teachers also need to be taught hand to hand combat, they make great military recruits if teaching doesn’t work out.


The baby grand piano on a Miami sandbar was put there by a teen who said he hoped it might help him get into art school.  Right, art school.  This kid was convinced if he played long enough a singing mermaid would emerge and fulfill his every fantasy.


Mexican smugglers tried to use a catapult to hurl drugs over the US Border.  They call it the “Rubber Bandito.”


Pitcher Gil Meche of the Royals quit, saying he didn’t deserve the guaranteed $12 million he’d make.  I was hoping that kind of thing would happen, but I had Congress in mind more than baseball players.


Strip clubs around Cowboys Stadium are expecting so many patrons Super Bowl weekend, they need 10,000 more girls!  Not only that, you only have to be considered attractive to men from Pittsburgh and Green Bay…no sweat!  Wait, one more.  These girls are gonna do more laps than Michael Phelps!


Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

©2010, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com

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Jan 28

(Delayed 24 hours for radio/TV clients)

A new movie will focus on the female followers of Charles Manson.  The writer got interested when she realized she lived across the street from two of the victims’ house.  If that’s how things get written I’d hate to see who lives across the street from Quentin Tarantino.


NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell will cut his salary to $1 if there is a work stoppage.  That’s a nice gesture, but it’s Bears quarterback Jay Cutler who everybody thinks should only get paid a dollar.


Over 65 years after WWII, Hitler’s last surviving bodyguard says that he can’t respond to the continuous deluge of fan mail he gets anymore.  And here you were worried about your daughter’s infatuation with the vampires in Twilight.


2 Girl Scout cookie sellers were targeted by a woman in West Palm Beach who drove up to their cookie stand and snatched their money.  It’s led to the creation of an all new cookie flavor, Carjackalongs.


If you’re going to Super Bowl XLV in Dallas, you’ll need a place to park.  $900 please.  That’s what a spot a tenth of a mile away goes for.  How much if you park at the site of Super Bowl XLIV?


Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

©2010, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com

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