Mar 22

girl with dogAbout 2 dozen Congressmen bring their dogs to work, which is allowed.  Sadly, it’s not because they miss their dogs during the day.  It’s because they’re such good chick magnets.
(The Real Story) 


 

LoverboyA new mission to see what happened to Amelia Earhart was announced due to a newfound photo that may show the plane’s landing gear.  While they’re at it, can they find out what happened to the lead singer of Loverboy?
(The Real Story)  


 

Marv AlbertA male gorilla escaped at the Buffalo Zoo, biting a female zookeeper before being caught.  The zoo says the biting was an act of excitement rather than aggression.  But that’s the same thing sportscaster Marv Albert said.
(The Real Story)  


 

Demi MooreAshton Kutcher paid to ride aboard the Virgin Galactic space line.  Customers get a 2 1/2-hour flight with 5 minutes of weightlessness.  The weightlessness is similar to what Demi Moore experienced when he threw her out.
(The Real Story)  


 

Jamie WaylettA judge sent Jamie Waylett, Hogwarts bully Vincent Crabbe in the Harry Potter films, to 2 years in jail for rioting in England last summer.  I can’t imagine a place where a cloak of invisibility would come in handier.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Jan 19

dolphinMine-detecting dolphins may be our best way to keep the Strait of Hormuz near Iran open.  When they find a mine, they drop off a floating marker.  Of course it’s hard to do that in secret because they also like to leap out of the water and ring a bell.
(The Real Story) 


 

lap deskFake iPad 2s made of modeling clay were recently sold at stores in Vancouver.  The stores responded by trying to sell disappointed customers lap desks so the clay wouldn’t stain their pants during usage.
(The Real Story)  


 

Ryan SeacrestResearchers in Egypt found the tomb of an ancient superstar.  A singer for the deity Amun-Ra, the Sun God of ancient Egypt, she’s considered the Lady Ga Ga of her day.  Coincidentally, Lady Ga Ga sings for Ryan Seacrest, the sun God of Los Angeles.
(The Real Story) 


 

Paula DeenPaula Deen is not apologizing for waiting 3 years to disclose she has Type 2 diabetes.  She’ll now be paid to endorse a diabetes drug.  Which she will prepare by soaking in butter, wrapping in raw cookie dough, and swallowing whole with a chaser of half-n-half.
(The Real Story)  


 

astronautThe US pledged to join an EU-led effort to develop a space “code of conduct.”  Rule 1: If the space food makes you gassy, you have to stay in the airlock for at least 3 hours.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Aug 12

(Delayed 24 hours for radio/TV clients)

2 ancient animal bones from Ethiopia show signs of butchering by human ancestors, moving back the first use of stone tools about 800,000 years.  And only 1 week after that time period came the first evidence of infomercials.


Spacewalking astronauts used brute force to remove a broken coolant pump to restore normal operations at the Space Station.  It’s the same kind of brute force that was needed to remove Buzz Aldrin from “Dancing With the Stars.”


A judge is considering whether a Pittsburgh man can legally change his name to Boomer the Dog.  Gary Mathews is a huge fan of the 80’s show “Here’s Boomer.”  He fell in love with the wrong TV show.  It would have been much easier to get his name changed to “Alf.”


Famed British music producer Mike Stock says, ‘The music industry has gone too far.  These days 99% of the charts is R&B, and 99% of that is soft pornography.”  Which recent CD release made him think that, “Girl What I’m Gonna Do To You Is Illegal in 12 States,” or “What I’m Gonna Do To You Would Make Nature Nauseous”?


While visiting Epcot, a PA woman alleges Donald Duck grabbed her breast and molested her when she asked for an autograph.  After the groping, Donald made gestures “indicating he had done something wrong.”  Oh, I guess we’re not going to talk about what the Bill Clinton animatron at the Hall of Presidents did to her, huh?


Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

©2010, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com

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