Dec 06

Bookmark the main Stiles Files site for the 10 funniest things on the web daily

 

Flintstone vitaminsPre-1982 penny hoarding is all the rage because they’re made with 95% copper.  Not that metals have become valuable, but there are entire criminal operations set up solely to extract the iron out of Flintstones vitamins.
(The Real Story)


 

SonicA report given to a high-level advisory group in Saudi Arabia claims allowing women to drive could encourage premarital sex.  Apparently, Sonic is a really hot pickup place in Saudi Arabia.
(The Real Story)


 

dumpsterTexas Christian University sociology professor Jeff Ferrell sifts through dumpsters and gives what he finds to the needy or friends.  He also tends to find a lot of college sociology degrees in dumpsters since that’s about what they’re worth.
(The Real Story)


 

KC & the Sunshine BandThe Epilepsy Foundation warned that people prone to certain types of seizures might want to skip the new Twilight movie.  The birth scene involves a strobe effect that can trigger attacks.  Who uses a strobe light during childbirth?  KC & the Sunshine Band?
(The Real Story)


 

Stevie WonderThere’s a rumor Stevie Wonder may be a contestant on “Dancing with the Stars.”  For that particular season, the dance floor would be expanded to 40 x 42 yards.
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com
    @TheStilesFiles

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Nov 03

The Blog Monologue

 

crackerBank of America dropped its $5 monthly debit card fee after negative customer reaction.  But without the fee, they have to lower their costs, so all future debit cards will be made out of cracker.
(The Real Story)


 

Teddy RooseveltRonald Reagan beat out FDR as the former president Americans would like to have back during these economic times.  Teddy Roosevelt came in 5th, but only because if things get worse, he could at least go hunt big game animals to feed us.
(The Real Story)


 

Ashton KutcherWeeks after 9/11, Dick Cheney informed Condoleezza Rice and George Bush they may have been exposed to botulinum toxin.  For 24 hours, they didn’t know if they’d live or die.  A really inappropriate time for Cheney to cooperate for an episode of “Punk’d,” but whatever.
(The Real Story)


 

gunA 10-year-old SC trick-or-treater pulled a 9mm gun on a woman who teased him she would take his candy.  The rest of the story…the woman then pulled a shotgun on him and made him give her his shoes.  Tough neighborhood.
(The Real Story)


 

DumbledoreFootage has surfaced of a Sudanese man being publicly beheaded in Saudi Arabia for being a “sorcerer.”  Note to self: when going to Halloween party in Saudi Arabia, leave Dumbledore costume at home.
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com
    @mikestiles

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Aug 21

(Delayed 24 hours for radio/TV clients)

The moon may be shrinking.  As the interior has cooled and shrunk over the last billion years, the surface has shrunk, too.  Duh.  The moon’s made of cheese and everybody knows cheese gets smaller as it sits out and hardens.


A Saudi judge asked several hospitals if they could damage a man’s spinal cord as punishment for attacking another man with a cleaver and paralyzing him.  If they won’t, the man will be made to continuously jump over hurdles on a horse until a tragic accident occurs.


A nationwide recall of eggs linked to an outbreak of salmonella that has sickened hundreds of people in 3 states has been expanded and now covers 380 million eggs.  Chickens, being stupid like they are, thought the recall meant they had to put the eggs back in.


Ricky MartinRicky Martin’s autobiography is cleverly entitled, “Me.”  He says the project led him to extract memories he’d erased from his mind…such as that wild car ride to a local city park with George Michael.


Steven Tyler62-year-old Steven Tyler fell offstage again when Joe Perry bumped him into the crowd during “Love in an Elevator.”  Aerosmith is the only band where they have to leave the safety nets up from the circus that was at the arena earlier.


Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

©2010, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com

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