Mar 16

Stiles Files for March 16, 2012

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Bridget JonesObama and British Prime Minister David Cameron agreed on the plan to withdraw forces from Afghanistan by 2014 and keep pressure on Iran over its nuclear program.  They also agreed there shouldn’t be any more Bridget Jones movies.
(The Real Story) 

 

Home ImprovementPrince Harry says sometimes he and Prince William wish they were just normal instead of royals.  If he wants to be completely ignored, maybe he should disguise himself as one of the child actors from “Home Improvement.”
(The Real Story) 

 

mammothSouth Korean and Russian scientists are planning to bring the woolly mammoth back to life using an elephant egg.  What you’re left with is a mammal that’s terrified of mice but can at least stab them through the heart with their tusks.
(The Real Story)  

 

cowDairy cows everywhere are mourning the loss of “Jocko,” the world’s 3rd most-potent breeding bull.  He left behind as many as 400,000 kids after a 17-year career.  Jocko’s favorite move was “the milkshake.”
(The Real Story)  

 

Mary Todd LincolnBobblehead dolls of Abe Lincoln assassin John Wilkes Booth have been pulled from the Gettysburg visitor’s center bookstore as being inappropriate.  Guess the Mary Todd Lincoln “Wacky Taffy” isn’t going over well either, huh?
(The Real Story)  

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Sep 20

Stiles Files for September 20, 2011

celebrities, commentary, current events, humor, jokes, Uncategorized No Comments »
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The Blog Monologue

 

maskObama will propose a “Buffett Tax,” named for billionaire Warren Buffett.  Buffett consistently complains he doesn’t pay enough taxes.  Oh, and he also likes to be tied up, spanked, and called filthy names.

 

LeelooAccording to a report in The Telegraph, nobody wants red-headed kids!  The world’s largest sperm bank turns down red-headed donors due to lack of demand.  If that’s true, how come every nerd makes their girlfriend dress up as Leeloo from “The Fifth Element” at least once?

 

ForeclosureCelebrity presenters at the Emmys got the usual sweet gift bags, including HP notebook computers, $700 hair dryers, rare blue diamonds, and indestructible steel headphones.  Oh…and a portfolio of middle-class foreclosed real estate.

 

Bank of AmericaKate Middleton has been making unannounced trips to various UK charities.  Running or founding charities is a favored pastime for Britain’s royals, so she’s shopping for one.  So far, she’s leaning toward Bank of America as her official charity.

 

Hillary ClintonThe most popular national political figure in America today is…Hillary Clinton.  1/3 have buyer’s remorse for not making her the nominee in ‘08.  Although the only people entitled to buyer’s remorse are lobbyists, who actually paid for a president.

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

 

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com    @mikestiles

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