Feb 29

marine homecoming kissCritics are speaking out against a photo of a young gay Marine’s homecoming kiss that went viral.  They really need to give them the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe nobody ever taught them how to high-five or chest-bump.
(The Real Story) 


 

Heather MillsAngelina Jolie’s right leg has spawned its own Twitter account, and it’s an instant hit.  A Twitter account was also set up for Paul McCartney ex Heather Mills’ leg, but it was fake.
(The Real Story)  


 

dogJapanese scientists think they know how dogs can walk barefoot in the snow.  Warm blood heats the cold blood caused from the cold surface before returning it to the dog’s heart.  I thought it was just because they can’t properly lace up boots.
(The Real Story)  


 

heated car seatDocs say heated seats can lead to a skin condition called Toasted Skin Syndrome.  It’s a rash caused by prolonged exposure to a warm temperature.  Computers and heating pads can also do it.  And, if she’s any good at what she does, a lap dancer.
(The Real Story)  


 

Christina AguileraAdam Levine says when “The Voice” first started, he didn’t even know who Blake Shelton was.  And he only knew Christina Aguilera as “that mouseketeer who went rogue when she got breasts.”
(The Real Story) 


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Aug 10

The Blog Monologue

 

verizon45,000 Verizon workers are on strike over labor issues.  Workers were informed they cannot strike without a data plan, and cannot reduce the number of minutes they’re striking without being forced to give up their friends & family feature.


 

Yoko OnoCNN’s Piers Morgan said of phone hacking he once heard a tape of a message Paul McCartney left ex Heather Mills after a fight.  You know it’s a serious fight when you hear Paul blurt out, “Why can’t you be more like Yoko?!”


 

Nicki MinajABC News is apologizing for a wardrobe malfunction that gave singer Nicki Minaj a nationwide nip shot on “Good Morning America.”  It’s all part of Good Morning America’s “Porn in the Park” summer series.


 

GleeGlee” producer Ryan Murphy is co-creator of an FX series, “American Horror Story” about a family that moves to LA from Boston but their house is haunted.  However, the ghosts sing covers of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing,” so it should be a huge hit.


 

Stuart LittleResearchers in Japan used embryonic stem cells to grow healthy mouse sperm on lab dishes, a development which could help treat human infertility.  Hey, they don’t call him “Stuart Little” because he’s a potent, fertile stud.


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

 

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com    @mikestiles

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Aug 19

(Delayed 24 hours for radio/TV clients)

PreciousTurns out the CIA has videos of interrogations in a secret overseas prison of admitted 9/11 plotter Ramzi Binalshibh.  Apparently they do not show harsh treatment.  Unless of course you count making him watch “Precious” over and over again until he cried.


JetBlueJetBlue’s bringing back its popular All-You-Can-Jet pass that lets you travel to an unlimited number of cities over a one-month period.  There’s also a separate “Fly-As-Much-As-You-Can-Before-the-Flight-Attendant-Jets” deal.


Courtney LoveA management firm and Courtney Love settled a $1 million lawsuit over the profits of the sale of Nirvana’s publishing catalog.  Next up, a lawsuit by West Virginia miners who are suing Courtney for using the name “Hole” for her band.


RingoA PA woman got Paul McCartney to autograph her back with a marker.  Afterward she got it permanently etched onto her body at a tattoo parlor.  In a related story, Ringo wrote his name on a hamburger with a ketchup bottle.


Hello KittyThe US military is in trouble in Japan thanks to baby monitors.  They interfere with local radio frequencies.  It’s not the baby’s they mind so much, it’s just that they could have sworn they heard them say “Hello Kitty sucks.”


Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

©2010, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com

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Sep 29

(Delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

2panel_InsertCheck out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

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achmadinejadIran’s Revolutionary Guard said it successfully test-fired short-range missiles to show Tehran is prepared to crush any military threat.  This just days after they were warned about a nuke facility they’ve been secretly building.
*It’s kinda like proving you don’t have drugs in your house by creating a cloud of cocaine so they can’t see you.
*Well, considering our missile shield plan is now to provide allies with really big umbrellas, it’s a concern.
*The missiles apparently go exactly the way Iranian leaders want them to…kind of like their elections.

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Director Roman Polanski was arrested by Swiss police while there for the Zurich Film Festival and faces possible extradition to the US for having sex with a 13-year-old girl in 1977.  He directed films like “Chinatown” and “Rosemary’s Baby.”
*Okay, okay, so the Swiss aren’t neutral about everything.
*The worst part about doing a significant amount of jail time in Switzerland is the cuckoo clocks they put in every cell.
*Polanski was caught while listening to his ipod, which was loaded with John Phillips music.

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pigThe government is starting an unprecedented system to track possible side effects as mass swine flu vaccinations begin next month.  The idea is to detect any problems quickly.
*Side effects so far include curly tailbone growth, squealing when you laugh, grunting when you eat, your hair gets short and pink, your nostrils grow amazingly large, and you can’t say “that’s all folks” without stuttering.

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“Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs” was number 1 at the box office again, with “Surrogates” coming in at #2.
*I’m sure flood victims in the southeast would greatly prefer that it rain meatballs right now.
*”Surrogates” of course, starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick.

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slate“Saturday Night Live” started the season with the F-bomb.  Newcomer Jenny Slate let it slip during a parody of a talk show by biker women.  No word on if there’ll be any repercussions.
*Of course, the fact that everybody’s hearing about it, but almost nobody saw it, points out that SNL has much bigger problems.
*If they were going to do that, you’d think they’d have saved it for when Serena Williams was the host.

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Obama says American kids spend too little time in school, putting them at a disadvantage with foreign students.  He wants schools to make classes longer, stay open later and to let kids in on weekends so they have a safe place to go.
*Apparently, the younger kids need a lot more time to learn their Obama worship songs.
*Teachers keep getting arrested for having affairs with their students, and he regards school as a safe place?
*This is especially bad news for the kids who get thrown in their lockers and left there for most of the school day.

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babydanceLong-secret security tapes showing the chaos after the 1995 bombing of the Oklahoma City federal building go blank right before the blast and appear to have been edited.  4 cameras in 4 different locations all go dark at the same time.  Some speculate the FBI is hiding evidence others were involved in the attack.
*Investigators can tell the video’s been edited because there could not have been a baby dancing to Beyonce right before the bomb went off.

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Poland approved a law making chemical castration mandatory for pedophiles in some cases.  They say, “The purpose of this action is to improve the mental health of the convict.”
*The chemical used is made by “Former Johnson & Former Johnson.”
*However, tragedy struck when the nation’s pediatricians misunderstood and thought they were talking about them.

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cartoonpaulA discovery in a Liverpool library reveals Paul McCartney’s talent for writing won him a prize when he was just 10.  It was for an essay about Queen Elizabeth II.  Paul contrasted violence on the coronation day of William the Conqueror with Elizabeth’s coronation.  His prize was a gift certificate for books.
*They’re sure it’s Paul’s because it was a group project and he only let Ringo write one word of the essay.
*Obviously the book he won wasn’t “A Guide to Japanese Marijuana Laws.”

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A candidate to be SC’s next National Guard leader launched his campaign with a “machine-gun social.”  500 people came out to a shooting range for Dean Allen’s rally.  $25 for barbecue, a clip of bullets for target practice and the chance to win a semiautomatic AK-47.
*That’s nothing compared to what went down at a “separatist compound social” earlier in the week.
*Famous bird hunter Dick Cheney was invited but could not come due to safety concerns… everybody else’s.
*Barbecue was $10 if you shot and dragged in your own ribs.

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charoDalton Chiscolm doesn’t like Bank of America’s customer service.  He sued the bank and its board for “1,784 billion, trillion dollars.”  He says he placed a series of calls to the bank in NY, got inconsistent info from a ‘Spanish woman,’ and checks got rejected because of incomplete routing numbers.
*The worst part is that hearing the amount “1,784 billion, trillion dollars” gave Obama officials a new target for where the deficit could be run up to.
*The last time I got inconsistent info from a Spanish woman was when I asked Charo, “So, was it good for you too?”

©2009, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com

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