May 18

SkechersSkechers will pay $40 million to settle unfounded claims Shape-ups help people lose weight and strengthen muscles.  They can easily come up with the money thanks to their new line of Hook-ups, the shoe that’s guaranteed to get you sex.
(The Real Story) 


 

Jennifer AnistonThe adviser that vetted Sarah Palin for John McCain said even though they lost, he stands by a “high risk, high reward” philosophy.  He suggests Romney pick Jennifer Aniston.
(The Real Story)  


 

Free Willy350 lb. Bill Wisth is protesting a WI all-you-can-eat restaurant that cut him off after eating 12 fish.  They gave him 8 fish to go away, for a total of 20.  My God, Free Willy never ate that much fish.
(The Real Story)  


 

Stripper silhouettesTopless dancers at the Crazy Horse nightclub in Paris have gone on strike, saying they aren’t being paid enough.  And do you really want to go see replacement strippers when they’re called “scabs?”
(The Real Story)  


 

ambulanceA VA community is securing drug compartments in ambulances after a string of thefts of Versed, an anti-anxiety medication.  Apparently, trying to figure out why “ambulance” is written backward on the hood causes a lot of anxiety.
(The Real Story)  


 

Don’t be selfish…make a habit of sharing this with your friends, many of whom could seriously use a laugh.

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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May 17

George W. BushGeorge W. Bush endorsed Mitt Romney.  But sources doubt he’ll be out campaigning for him.  He did, however, put up a big “Missionary Accomplished” banner at his house.
(The Real Story) 


 

jet hit by lightningFrancois Hollande, who just took over as France’s president, had his plane get hit by lightning on the way to Berlin.  Socialist that he is, he publicly expressed regret that all other planes did not get equally hit by lightning.
(The Real Story)  


 

Henry KissingerHenry Kissinger was given the full pat down by the TSA at LaGuardia.  None of the agents knew who the 88-year-old former Secretary of State was.  He immediately started trying to negotiate a ceasefeelup.
(The Real Story)  


 

aerial droneA new type of “virtual colonoscopy” has been shown to be just as effective as standard tests, and you don’t have to prep with the laxative.  And if this method doesn’t do the trick, they’re going to start sending in aerial drones.
(The Real Story)  


 

Surgeon with scalpelA NY man had his friend shoot him in the leg with a rifle because he wanted to know what it felt like.  Could have been worse.  The conversation started out with the guy wondering how bad it hurt back when he was circumcised.
(The Real Story)  


 

Don’t be selfish…make a habit of sharing this with your friends, many of whom could seriously use a laugh.

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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May 09

Bill ClintonA new poll finds Romney in a dead heat with Obama in 12 key swing states.  If you think back to Bill Clinton’s campaign, you’ll remember he did particularly well in swinger states.
(The Real Story) 


 

horse bettingCops still don’t have any suspects in the death of a horse groomer whose body was found in a barn at the Kentucky Derby.  Wow, whoever bet on that happening at the race walked away with a fortune.
(The Real Story)  


 

dinosaurResearchers calculate dinosaur flatulence could have put enough methane into the air to warm the planet during the Mesozoic era.  They’re also pretty sure dinosaurs eventually developed the ability to giggle every time they did it.
(The Real Story) 


 

upside down houseAn Austrian village unveiled a house that’s literally upside down, inside and out.  It’s a big tourist attraction.  If anybody wants to see a bunch of houses that are under water, all they have to do is come to America.
(The Real Story)  


 

Beatles White AlbumScotland Yard banned the word “blacklist” as being too racially insensitive.  The computer term “whitelist” is forbidden as well.  Agents can also no longer listen to the Beatles’ White Album.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Apr 05

Mitt RomneyThe website Fiverr lets you offer a service for $5 and see how many people are willing to pay you for it.  Mitt Romney has a similar site called “250millionerr.”
(The Real Story) 


 

FramVilleA MI teacher’s aide was fired for refusing to hand over her Facebook password.  She finally made a deal.  She’ll give them the password, but they have to agree to get all her FarmVille updates.
(The Real Story)  


 

Jenna talackovaJenna Talackova, the beauty queen who used to be a dude, will be allowed to continue her quest to be Miss Universe Canada.  If nothing else, she’ll be the first contestant whose talent is gutting a deer.
(The Real Story)  


 

ice cream boySome NY area parents are demanding ice cream vendors leave the area to avoid tantrums from kids.  The best strategy is to let kids have all they want until they’re too obese to catch the truck.
(The Real Story)  


 

Kate WinsletDays after revealing the theme from “Titanic” makes her want to throw up, Kate Winslet said Leo DiCaprio is “fatter now.”  I bet next time Leo sketches her naked, he’s going to give her a monkey tail and devil horns.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Apr 04

Supreme CourtThe Supreme Court ruled jailers can strip search people even after minor offenses.  Yet another reason for moms to tell kids to make sure they wear clean underwear every time they leave the house.
(The Real Story) 


 

CialisAnn Romney rejected that Mitt is “too stiff” by telling a radio host, “I guess we better unzip him and let the real Mitt Romney out!”  Is she helping him campaign or doing an endorsement for Cialis?
(The Real Story)  


 

burned handEvidence reveals we may have used controlled fire a million years ago.  Singed finger bones also show the first redneck to have a bottle rocket blow up in his hand may have occurred thousands of years earlier than first thought.
(The Real Story)  


 

girlsA study shows you’re never happier than you are at age 33.  Not coincidentally, that’s right before the age at which girls you’d be interested in start calling you “sir.”
(The Real Story)  


 

Ron PaulTurns out Rick Perry was under the influence of painkillers during his troubled debates to help relieve severe back pain.  And it was Ron Paul who prescribed them.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Mar 30

girls at barThe White House endorsed new oil exploration off the Atlantic Coast.  They’ll look for 5 years but won’t commit to drilling if they find anything.  It’s like going to bars to look for hot women but then never talking to them.
(The Real Story) 


 

Newt GingrichNewt Gingrich has cut his campaign staff down by about 1/3.  Turns out $2.50 is not only Newt’s target price for gas, it’s all he can pay his staff per hour.
(The Real Story) 


 

Cee-LoA study says people who spend 11 or more hours a day sitting are 40% more likely to die in the next 3 years regardless of how physically active they are otherwise.  Suddenly, I’m a little concerned about Cee-Lo sitting in that chair on “The Voice.”
(The Real Story)  


 

etch-a-SketchReports are Mitt Romney’s proposed renovations for his CA beachfront property include an elevator for his 4 on-site cars.  He’s also putting in a big-screen, hi-def Etch-a-Sketch.
(The Real Story)  


 

TSA patdownA MD TSA manager was busted for running a prostitution ring out of a hotel.  Which is stupid since you can get felt up at the airport for free.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Mar 23

Jeb BushFormer FL Gov. Jeb Bush endorsed Mitt Romney as the Republican primary nominee.  He also boldly predicted the New York Giants will beat the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLVI.
(The Real Story) 


 

Newt GingrichA study says for narcissists, Facebook may promote anti-social behavior.  Narcissism is “a pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration and an exaggerated sense of self-importance.”  Or you can look up Newt Gingrich on Wikipedia.
(The Real Story)  


 

zumbaScientists are baffled by the source of mysterious booms and shaking that have plagued Clintonville, WI for 3 days.  Some residents have even fled.  All because of a secret midnight Zumba class for women over 300 lbs.?
(The Real Story)  


 

Black SwanThe epic movie “Noah” starts filming in July with Russell Crowe.  The movie will be helmed by the director of “Black Swan.”  He does understand loading things onto the ark two-by-two shouldn’t include two hot ballerina girls, right?
(The Real Story)  


 

examAn FAU professor was reviewing with his evolution class for a midterm when student Jonatha Carr screamed, “How does evolution kill black people!?”  Carr then got violent.  Joke’s on her, that question isn’t even going to be on the test.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Mar 10

Ann RomneyIn a failed attempt to honor his wife, Mitt Romney told an OH crowd, “I’ll introduce to you the heavyweight champion of my life.”  He went on to fumble, “I don’t mean weight.”  Not as bad as last month when he introduced her as “Daddy’s little Mormon baby machine.”
(The Real Story) 


 

Richard CodeyA fake beard & tattoo, and clothes stained with grass and coffee helped turn former NJ Gov. Richard Codey into a homeless man looking for shelter.  The tattoo was a little bit of a giveaway.  It read “Born to Pass State Legislation.”
(The Real Story)  


 

spring breakTX is warning “Spring Breakers” to avoid Mexico due to the drug-related violence.  The flaw being, officials are making the assumption college students know where Mexico is.
(The Real Story)  


 

Chitty Chitty Bang BangChitty Chitty Bang Bang is back.  It’s in the hands of a noted English children’s author but no word on the plot yet.  It probably involves the car being recalled because it doesn’t get the proper mileage on the water required by the British government.
(The Real Story)  


 

grinParents in CA were invited to a school board meeting to express outrage after a middle school teacher was caught featured in hardcore porn.  However, not a single parent showed up.  Well, unless you count the dads that hung around outside for an autograph.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Mar 08

doomsday prepperA recent doomsday prepper convention in SC was a huge success, with 800 people attending.  Bars love it when prepper conventions come to town.  Everybody runs up a huge tab thinking the world will end before they have to pay it.
(The Real Story) 


 

Ann RomneyAnn Romney declared, “I don’t even consider myself wealthy.”  She also talked about her expensive horse collection.  Lastly, she tried to pay each reporter and cameraman at the event $500 each to forget they were ever there.
(The Real Story) 


 

robotA 4-legged robot known as the Cheetah set a new land speed record for legged robots by running 18 mph on a treadmill.  Scientists say it’s a giant step toward a bold “commute to work by riding piggyback on a robot” future.
(The Real Story)  


 

George Washington McNuggetA woman sold a McDonald’s Chicken McNugget that resembles George Washington for $8,100 on eBay.  McDonald’s was even running a promotion that day where with the purchase of a Chicken McNugget, you got to chop down a fried cherry pie.
(The Real Story)  


 

Kim ZolchiakKim Zolciak’s new song is a country ballad called “Love Me First.”  She says the lyrics are autobiographical.  Really?  She sings about screaming at other women and making a living attaching herself to rich men?
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Feb 10

Ann RomneyRick Santorum stunned Mitt Romney, winning the Colorado and Minnesota caucuses, and Missouri’s nonbinding primary.  Mitt’s wife was caught on camera yelling, “Mitt can’t campaign for the [expletive] votes and [expletive] cast the votes!”
(The Real Story)


 

blood pressure machineSpermCheck, a male fertility test, will soon be in Walgreen’s and CVS.  Of course, it will be terribly awkward when guys mistake the free blood pressure check machine for the SpermCheck.
(The Real Story)


 

Gary BuseyGary Busey has filed for bankruptcy with less than $50,000 in assets.  And every movie studio in town has turned down his idea to make a sequel to “The Buddy Holly Story” where he comes back as a zombie.
(The Real Story)


 

Justice LeagueThe Model Alliance has been formed to make sure models aren’t mistreated.  Most evil masterminds would much rather be taken down by the Model Alliance than the Justice League.
(The Real Story)


 

carChicago must decide what to do about a vehicle sticker design containing gang symbols tied to the Maniac Latin Disciples.  It also doesn’t help that the slogan on car tags says, “This is My Ride Bitches!”
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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