Mar 03

roller coasterA London theme park will debut a new winged coaster, even though test runs resulted in test dummies getting their arms and legs ripped off.  Fighter pilots describe it as “gut-wrenching.”  Maybe our roller coasters should be unmanned like our aerial drones.
(The Real Story) 


 

girdleThe last madam of the TX brothel that inspired “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” died at 84.  Edna Chadwell started in 1952 and was never ashamed of what she did.  Except for that one time in 1964 when her girdle snapped and the buckle put a patron’s eye out.
(The Real Story)  


 

Levi JohnstonBristol Palin is the subject of a Lifetime reality series.  “Bristol Palin: Life’s a Tripp” will explore the pressures of raising her son, Tripp.  Hey that’s better than the show Tripp’s dad got on Spike, “Levi Johnston: Life is Tearing Tickets at a Movie Theater.”
(The Real Story)  


 

Veggie TalesStudents in London are using biodegradable materials to make luxury items.  There are stilettos made from pistachio shells, and clothes made of orange peel and fungi.  The good news is, even if you can’t get anywhere with a woman, her clothes will rot off if you wait long enough.
(The Real Story)  


 

Rick SantorumAn Albuquerque man successfully registered his dog to vote.  He made up a birth date, a social security number, and had a voter registration card in his hand in 2 weeks.  Wait ‘til the dog learns how opposed to spaying and neutering Rick Santorum is.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Mar 02

NavajoThe American Indian tribe Navajo Nation sued Urban Outfitters demanding it pull the trademarked “Navajo” name from its products.  Also, restaurants can no longer take reservations as they trademarked that word too.
(The Real Story) 


 

Microsoft logoMicrosoft Windows 8 is here, with a start screen full of apps replacing the traditional desktop.  Analysts say Windows 8’s best selling point is that it’s two versions removed from Vista.
(The Real Story)  


 

electric outletThe first weapon-scale prototype of a futuristic Navy railgun began testing.  It uses an electric launcher instead of gunpowder to fire a huge hypersonic bullet.  Having to pull into a port to find an outlet to plug it into is a little inconvenient, but it’s a cool gun.
(The Real Story)  


 

bearA Grizzly charged at some Alaskan tourists participating in what was billed as a safe viewing of the bears in their natural habitat.  Surprising after last year’s “go into a cave banging a trash can lid with a stick” adventure ended so badly.
(The Real Story)  


 

crownQueen Elizabeth II will open the 2012 Olympics.  Just before lighting the Olympic flame, she is expected to high jump over a stack of her jewels.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Oct 18

The Blog Monologue

Dick CheneyFL state lawmaker Brad Drake filed a bill that would make convicts choose between the electric chair and firing squad.  Most convicts agree to being put to death by firing squad, as long as it’s Dick Cheney doing the shooting.
(The Real Story)


 

money coupleResearch shows couples in which one or both partners placed a high priority on money were less likely to have satisfying, stable marriages.  Basically, whichever partner can afford to have the other bumped off always has the upper hand in the relationship.
(The Real Story)


 

parallel parkingDrug smugglers in AZ were bringing drugs through a tunnel and up under the concrete at metered parking spaces, where the drugs would be loaded into false-bottomed vans.  The hardest part is finding people good enough at parallel parking.
(The Real Story)


 

 

VoldemortThe London area studio where Harry Potter was made will be the “Making of Harry Potter” studio tour.  As for how much it costs, the sign just says “he whose price must not be spoken.”
(The Real Story)


 

 

sharkAn OR surfer wound up atop a Great White for several seconds, thinking it was a rock.  When you suddenly catch yourself hanging 6 instead of 10, you know you’ve surfed onto a shark.
(The Real Story)


 

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com    @mikestiles

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Jul 11

The Blog Monologue

 

Amber AlertABC News tapped Elizabeth Smart as their missing persons “expert.”  It’s a little harrowing having Elizabeth on the staff.  Every time she’s a little late, they panic and put out an Amber alert.


 

Rupert GrintThousands massed in London for the premiere of the final Harry Potter movie.  And conveniently for the guy that plays Ron, there was a job fair right next door to where the premier was!


 

Amy WinehouseUS music album sales grew in the first 6 months of the year from a year ago, the first gain since 2004.  The top-selling album was Adele’s “21.”  The album “Amy Winehouse Slurs the Top Hits of the 90’s” did not perform nearly as well.


 

Willie NelsonA judge rejected a plea deal in Willie Nelson‘s pot possession case in TX.  He could get up to a year in jail.  Or, if he hires Casey Anthony’s attorney, he will be released immediately with an apology and a 1 lb. bag of marijuana.


 

Seigfried and RoyA man who showed up at a past PGA tournament in a bright orange “Tiger” suit to cheer on Tiger Woods is complaining because was escorted away by security.  You’d think he learned his lesson after wearing it to a Siegfried & Roy show back in 2001.


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

 

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com    @mikestiles

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Jul 07

(Delayed 24 hours for radio/TV clients)

Spain kicked off the running of the bulls, though the tourist count is down this year.  Americans know they don’t have to go to Spain to get chased by a horrific beast, all they have to do is hurl insults at Rosie O’Donnell.


George Michael was arrested after crashing his car, again, into a building in London.  You know, I’m starting to figure out where he got the idea for naming his first group “Wham.”



52-year-old Prince pronounced the Internet dead, refusing to use any digital platforms to distribute his music and shutting down his website.  He’s not only going to party like it’s 1999, he’s going to conduct business like it’s 1999.



Iran’s Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance issued a directive restricting barber shops to only certain kinds of men’s haircuts.  After all, you want to look your very best for when the government beheads you.


Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days after violating probation, skipping court ordered alcohol education program at least 9 times.  Which, to be fair, if they were held on the curbs or in the bushes outside of nightclubs, she might have made more of them.


“Christmas in the Suburbs!”  Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

©2010, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com

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