Nov 11

Stiles Files for November 11, 2011

celebrities, commentary, current events, humor, jokes, Uncategorized No Comments »
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Bookmark the main Stiles Files site for the 10 Funniest Things on the Web Daily

 

Homeland SecurityObama will ask government agencies to cut back on promotional items.  Looks like I won’t be getting that wacky Homeland Security, “Official Airport Pat-Down Specialist” t-shirt for Christmas this year.
(The Real Story)

 

Family CircusBil Keane, creator of the one-panel comic “Family Circus” died at 89.  He will be buried in a circular coffin with a little dashed line leading all the way to the cemetery.
(The Real Story)

 

MRIWalmart wants to offer a range of medical services from basic prevention to management of chronic conditions like diabetes and heart disease.  I hate the long lines while people try to figure out the self-MRI machines.
(The Real Story)

 

fruitcakeObama quickly reversed a plan to tax live Christmas trees this season.  Instead, there will be a special tax imposed for the safe, professional disposal of fruitcakes.
(The Real Story)

 

Stephen KingStephen King announced his foundation will help struggling Maine residents buy heating oil.  Of course, the oil will be delivered by semi-dismembered psychopaths, but you’ve got to do things Stephen’s way.
(The Real Story)

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com    @mikestiles

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Nov 04

Stiles Files for November 4, 2011

celebrities, commentary, current events, humor, jokes, Uncategorized No Comments »
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The Blog Monologue

 

Wiggles17-year-old Justin Bieber vowed “vigorous” legal action after 20-year-old Mariah Yeater claimed he fathered her baby backstage at a show in LA.  Why was she there to begin with?  Were the Wiggles not in town?
(The Real Story)

 

waterA Japanese official nervously drank a glass of water from the flooded basement of the Fukushima Nuclear Plant after a journalist dared him to do it.  Usually when dealing with radioactive water, one waits until things escalate into a double-dog dare.
(The Real Story)

 

narwhalThere are only about 60,000 narwhals, near-mythical creatures called the “unicorns of the sea” for the ivory tusks spiralaling out of the top of their heads.  There’s a new effort underway to track them.  By doing what, asking mermaids which way they went?
(The Real Story)

 

jazzAn angry panhandler at a Sacramento Starbucks ransacked the place when he couldn’t get any customers to give him money.  Baristas were able to soothe him with the smooth jazz CD’s they have available for sale until police arrived.
(The Real Story)

 

hotelWelcome screens on 1.2 million hotel TV sets in the USA will show a Homeland Security PSA urging travelers to report anything suspicious.  Doesn’t watching government PSA’s on your hotel TV instead of porn count as “suspicious”?
(The Real Story)

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com    @mikestiles

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Sep 15

Stiles Files for September 15, 2011

celebrities, commentary, current events, humor, jokes, Uncategorized No Comments »
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The Blog Monologue

 

Dora the ExplorerHomeland Security will roll out a different airport pat-down policy for kids under 12.  They won’t have to take their shoes off anymore.  And the latex gloves they wear will have pictures of Dora the Explorer on them!

 

Susan LucciIt’s unclear if Susan Lucci will be a part of an attempt to move “All My Children” online.  Since webisodes would be just 10 minutes long, it’s estimated Erika Kane would have close to 59 husbands per month.

 

Iran TVIran banned TV shows showing half-naked men and love triangles.  Iran TV shows mostly religious and government shows, like “Dancing With the Imams,” “Extreme Makeover Holding Cell Edition,” “So You Think You Can Wear Whatever You Want,” “30 Rocks Thrown At You,” “America’s Got Infidels,” “The Big Bang Theory for Peaceful Energy Purposes Only,” and “How I Banished Your Mother.”

 

Tweety BirdLegislation in San Francisco to keep birds from killing themselves on high-rise windows passed a committee.  Some suggest taking it in phases and first passing a law against laughing at birds that fly into windows.

 

Justice LeagueA CA woman says her dog was prescribed to her by her doctor for emotional support, but was lost at Six Flags when workers rescued it from her hot car.  Her emotional support must now come from Bugs Bunny and The Justice League.

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

 

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com    @mikestiles

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
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