Mar 22

girl with dogAbout 2 dozen Congressmen bring their dogs to work, which is allowed.  Sadly, it’s not because they miss their dogs during the day.  It’s because they’re such good chick magnets.
(The Real Story) 


 

LoverboyA new mission to see what happened to Amelia Earhart was announced due to a newfound photo that may show the plane’s landing gear.  While they’re at it, can they find out what happened to the lead singer of Loverboy?
(The Real Story)  


 

Marv AlbertA male gorilla escaped at the Buffalo Zoo, biting a female zookeeper before being caught.  The zoo says the biting was an act of excitement rather than aggression.  But that’s the same thing sportscaster Marv Albert said.
(The Real Story)  


 

Demi MooreAshton Kutcher paid to ride aboard the Virgin Galactic space line.  Customers get a 2 1/2-hour flight with 5 minutes of weightlessness.  The weightlessness is similar to what Demi Moore experienced when he threw her out.
(The Real Story)  


 

Jamie WaylettA judge sent Jamie Waylett, Hogwarts bully Vincent Crabbe in the Harry Potter films, to 2 years in jail for rioting in England last summer.  I can’t imagine a place where a cloak of invisibility would come in handier.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Nov 03

The Blog Monologue

 

crackerBank of America dropped its $5 monthly debit card fee after negative customer reaction.  But without the fee, they have to lower their costs, so all future debit cards will be made out of cracker.
(The Real Story)


 

Teddy RooseveltRonald Reagan beat out FDR as the former president Americans would like to have back during these economic times.  Teddy Roosevelt came in 5th, but only because if things get worse, he could at least go hunt big game animals to feed us.
(The Real Story)


 

Ashton KutcherWeeks after 9/11, Dick Cheney informed Condoleezza Rice and George Bush they may have been exposed to botulinum toxin.  For 24 hours, they didn’t know if they’d live or die.  A really inappropriate time for Cheney to cooperate for an episode of “Punk’d,” but whatever.
(The Real Story)


 

gunA 10-year-old SC trick-or-treater pulled a 9mm gun on a woman who teased him she would take his candy.  The rest of the story…the woman then pulled a shotgun on him and made him give her his shoes.  Tough neighborhood.
(The Real Story)


 

DumbledoreFootage has surfaced of a Sudanese man being publicly beheaded in Saudi Arabia for being a “sorcerer.”  Note to self: when going to Halloween party in Saudi Arabia, leave Dumbledore costume at home.
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com
    @mikestiles

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Oct 18

The Blog Monologue

Dick CheneyFL state lawmaker Brad Drake filed a bill that would make convicts choose between the electric chair and firing squad.  Most convicts agree to being put to death by firing squad, as long as it’s Dick Cheney doing the shooting.
(The Real Story)


 

money coupleResearch shows couples in which one or both partners placed a high priority on money were less likely to have satisfying, stable marriages.  Basically, whichever partner can afford to have the other bumped off always has the upper hand in the relationship.
(The Real Story)


 

parallel parkingDrug smugglers in AZ were bringing drugs through a tunnel and up under the concrete at metered parking spaces, where the drugs would be loaded into false-bottomed vans.  The hardest part is finding people good enough at parallel parking.
(The Real Story)


 

 

VoldemortThe London area studio where Harry Potter was made will be the “Making of Harry Potter” studio tour.  As for how much it costs, the sign just says “he whose price must not be spoken.”
(The Real Story)


 

 

sharkAn OR surfer wound up atop a Great White for several seconds, thinking it was a rock.  When you suddenly catch yourself hanging 6 instead of 10, you know you’ve surfed onto a shark.
(The Real Story)


 

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com    @mikestiles

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Aug 10

The Blog Monologue

 

Diana Nyad61-year-old American swimmer Diana Nyad failed in her bid to set a new world record with a 103-mile crossing from Cuba.  I have to admit, usually when you hear the word “stroke” associated with a 61-year-old, swimming isn’t the first thing that comes to mind.


 

baguetteA baker from France has rolled out a 24-hour automated baguette dispenser.  The machine is so advanced, it can recognize tourists and insult their home cuisines.


 

voldemortNewsweek is under fire for putting a photo of Michele Bachmann on the cover that makes her look crazed.  The story is titled, “The Queen of Rage.”  The picture inside of her having a cozy lunch with Lord Voldemort doesn’t help either.


 

Lee GreenwoodA concert organized by atheist & agnostic soldiers was cleared by the Army for next spring at Fort Bragg.  It’s called “Rock Beyond Belief.”  A confused Lee Greenwood will likely turn down an invite to sing “Nobody Bless the USA..Just Let Random Fate Run its Course.”


 

Ed SullivanExplosive recordings are set to reveal Jackie O had affairs of her own, with actor William Holden and Fiat founder Gianni Agnelli.  And then there was that kinky weekend in the Hamptons with Art Linkletter and Ed Sullivan.


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

 

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com    @mikestiles

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Jul 26

The Blog Monologue

 

Amy WinehouseAmy Winehouse joins the “Forever 27″ club that includes Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison, who all died at 27.  ”Forever 27” also applies to “Real Housewives” cast members whose husbands can continuously afford cosmetic procedures for them.


 

Anthony WeinerForeign journalists are distressed after being patted down, then asked to undress and remove their bras for a security check before being allowed into the offices of Israel’s prime minister.  For entrance into Anthony Weiner’s office I can understand…but the Israeli prime minister?


 

Captain AmericaCaptain America topped the Harry Potter finale this weekend.  Captain America and Harry Potter come from two different worlds.  To Cap, a Horcrux is someone you visit while you’re on leave.


 

Snow WhiteKristen Stewart dons armor and wields a huge sword and shield for her next movie, “Snow White and the Huntsman.”  It’s an action-packed twist on the fairy tale.  In a related story, Sleeping Beauty is packing 2 loaded .357 magnums under her pillow.


 

Jackie GleasonLinda Christian, the first Bond girl, has died at 87.  In 1954 she starred as Bond’s love interest in the TV adaptation of “Casino Royale.”  Of course, that’s back when Bond was played by Jackie Gleason.


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

 

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com    @mikestiles

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Jul 21

The Blog Monologue

 

Rupert MurdochA protester splattered 80-year-old Rupert Murdoch with white foam during his hearing before a British parliament committee.  Asked if he was okay, Murdoch said, “I’m sorry but I do not recall the incident in question.”


 

TexasA new study finds 60% of Texan students were suspended, expelled or faced in-school suspensions by the time they graduated high school.  Fortunately, they all already had college football scholarships well in hand, so no biggie.


 

Emma Watson“Harry Potter” star Emma Watson plans to return to Brown University to complete her degree.  Emma created quite a stir when she first went there because she was waiting for a magic hat to tell her which classes she was in.


 

James HetfieldA $650,000 CA hiking trail bypass is being built to accommodate the home of Metallica front man James Hetfield.  He put up a metal fence blocking part of the trail because he said users were damaging his property.  A heavy metal fence.


 

Readers DigestBad time for books.  Borders will liquidate, and Reader’s Digest Association is looking to sell itself.  And yes, if you buy Reader’s Digest, the contract will come in an abridged version.


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

 

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com    @mikestiles

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Jul 11

The Blog Monologue

 

Amber AlertABC News tapped Elizabeth Smart as their missing persons “expert.”  It’s a little harrowing having Elizabeth on the staff.  Every time she’s a little late, they panic and put out an Amber alert.


 

Rupert GrintThousands massed in London for the premiere of the final Harry Potter movie.  And conveniently for the guy that plays Ron, there was a job fair right next door to where the premier was!


 

Amy WinehouseUS music album sales grew in the first 6 months of the year from a year ago, the first gain since 2004.  The top-selling album was Adele’s “21.”  The album “Amy Winehouse Slurs the Top Hits of the 90’s” did not perform nearly as well.


 

Willie NelsonA judge rejected a plea deal in Willie Nelson‘s pot possession case in TX.  He could get up to a year in jail.  Or, if he hires Casey Anthony’s attorney, he will be released immediately with an apology and a 1 lb. bag of marijuana.


 

Seigfried and RoyA man who showed up at a past PGA tournament in a bright orange “Tiger” suit to cheer on Tiger Woods is complaining because was escorted away by security.  You’d think he learned his lesson after wearing it to a Siegfried & Roy show back in 2001.


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

 

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com    @mikestiles

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Jul 06

The Blog Monologue

 

CanadaCommand Sgt. Maj. Jeff Mellinger was drafted to fight in Vietnam, and the Army believes he’s the last draftee to retire, after 39 years.  Ironically, he’s retiring to Canada.


 

Jack DanielsHarry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe has given up drinking after realizing he was partying too hard.  Apparently “he whose name must not be spoken” is Jack Daniels.


 

Moon buggyThe government sued retired astronaut Edgar Mitchell to recover a camera used to explore the moon’s surface during the 1971 Apollo 14 mission after seeing it up for sale at auction.  Uh oh.  Then they’re sure not gonna like the moon buggy he’s got up on AutoTrader.com.


 

BuffetMiss SC lost 110 pounds before taking the beauty pageant crown.  Bree Boyce will now compete for the Miss America title in Vegas.  Her fellow contestants at Miss America are very proud of her, and are super friendly…even pointing out where all the free buffets in Vegas are.


 

George MichaelAl-Qaeda in Britain are being taught to avoid detection by pretending to be gay.  A new terror training manual says to lie about being straight if a woman approaches them, in case she’s a spy.  Sure that takes care of the female spies, but now don’t they have to worry about George Michael being a government informant?


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

 

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com @mikestiles

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Mar 09

(Delayed 24 hours for radio/TV clients)

A top aide to Donald Trump visited Iowa to gauge interest in the idea of a Trump bid for the Republican presidential nomination in 2012.  Don’t you know Lil Jon is ticked off he goes on “Celebrity Apprentice” and his first challenge is going to Iowa to drum up interest in a Trump presidency.


At 62, Prince Charles is still waiting to be King.  Elizabeth is the only monarch most have ever known, and everyone loves William.  He says it doesn’t bother him.  But when he’s drinking, he’s been caught marching around his room wearing a towel for a cape listening to “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” from the “Lion King” soundtrack.


Demi Lovato thanked fans for lifting her stay in a treatment facility for “emotional and physical issues.”  She dropped out of a Jonas Brothers tour after fighting a backup dancer.  Somehow, “I’m on a drug called the Disney Channel” just doesn’t seem as hard core as Charlie Sheen’s problems.


Facebook head Mark Zuckerberg just adopted a cute little puppy, a Puli named “Beast.”  And yes, they created a Facebook page for him.  When people stop them in the park and ask if they can pet him, Mark says, “No, but you can click to Like him.”


Emma Watson, Hermione of Harry Potter fame, announced she’ll be temporarily leaving Brown University to promote the final installment of the franchise.  In a related story, the guy who plays Ron hasn’t been at his heating & air trade school class for 2 weeks and nobody’s noticed.


Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

©2010, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com

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Feb 09

(Delayed 24 hours for radio/TV clients)

Super Bowl viewership beat last year’s record-setting game by a projected 3%.  Viewership was so high, an estimated 24 more girls recognized Ben Roethlisberger.


Qigong is a Chinese mind-body practice to boost your vital energy that’s going mainstream.  It requires no equipment, can be done anywhere, and it’s easy, which is also how we describe JWoww here in this country.


Sacramento’s Josh Abken had a tumor the size of a soccer ball removed.  It apparently had been growing for at least a decade.  And as soon as it was described as “soccer ball sized,” American doctors stopped caring about it.


A measure letting judges punish parents of teens who engage in “sexting” was introduced in TX.  A 2008 study showed 22% of teen girls sent or posted nude or semi-nude pics of themselves.  It’s sort of like when Hermione got in trouble at Hogwart’s for “hexting.”


Old rock stars are finding a new stage in college classrooms as professors.  Steve Miller, and Mark Volman of the Turtles just to name two.  The students like it, although a lot of the old rockers frequently disappear into the chemistry lab for some reason.


Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

©2010, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com

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