Apr 06

Stiles Files for April 6, 2012

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Lindsay LohanA rocket with a secret payload blasted off in CA.  It’s thought to be an imaging satellite capable of seeing at night and through bad weather.  Or a tracking tool in case Lindsay Lohan ever gets put back on probation.
(The Real Story) 

 

Hunger GamesA debate between Senate candidates in NB got weird when one accused the other of trying to follow his 14-year-old daughter on Twitter.  C’mon, how else is a 63-year-old going to find out how totally awesome “Hunger Games” was?
(The Real Story)  

 

Heidi FleissAnimal Planet has some new shows coming, including “Top Hooker,” which is a fishing competition.  But…a fishing competition hosted by Heidi Fleiss.
(The Real Story)  

 

Sophia VergaraA poll shows 51% of Hispanics don’t like being called “Hispanics.”  And they’re sick of always being asked if they happen to know “Modern Family’s” Sophia Vergara.
(The Real Story)  

 

Ringo StarrRumors persist the Beatles sons are forming a band.  Ringo’s son Zak Starkey is the only one not keen to the idea.  Mostly because Ringo wants the gig himself.
(The Real Story)  

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Mar 30

Stiles Files for March 30, 2012

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girls at barThe White House endorsed new oil exploration off the Atlantic Coast.  They’ll look for 5 years but won’t commit to drilling if they find anything.  It’s like going to bars to look for hot women but then never talking to them.
(The Real Story) 

 

Newt GingrichNewt Gingrich has cut his campaign staff down by about 1/3.  Turns out $2.50 is not only Newt’s target price for gas, it’s all he can pay his staff per hour.
(The Real Story) 

 

Cee-LoA study says people who spend 11 or more hours a day sitting are 40% more likely to die in the next 3 years regardless of how physically active they are otherwise.  Suddenly, I’m a little concerned about Cee-Lo sitting in that chair on “The Voice.”
(The Real Story)  

 

etch-a-SketchReports are Mitt Romney’s proposed renovations for his CA beachfront property include an elevator for his 4 on-site cars.  He’s also putting in a big-screen, hi-def Etch-a-Sketch.
(The Real Story)  

 

TSA patdownA MD TSA manager was busted for running a prostitution ring out of a hotel.  Which is stupid since you can get felt up at the airport for free.
(The Real Story)  

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Mar 20

Stiles Files for March 20, 2012

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Centrum SilverFormer Mr. Universe Manohar Aich just turned 100, saying happiness and a life without tensions is the key longevity.  Also, being able to switch from steroids to Centrum Silver.
(The Real Story) 

 

lobster3 Japanese tourists in Australia, misled by their GPS, drove straight into the Pacific Ocean.  That’s also where the GPS takes you if you naively ask it for directions to “fresh seafood.”
(The Real Story)  

 

BatmanGeorge Clooney and his dad were arrested during a protest outside the Sudanese Embassy.  Clooney was released several hours later after paying a $100 fine, and explaining once and for all why his suit had nipples when he played Batman.
(The Real Story)  

 

Ben & Jerry'sBen & Jerry’s made a batch of apple pie-flavored pints called “Apple-y Ever After” to show support for gay marriage in the UK.  The company wants to show that gay people have just as much right to eat ice cream and let themselves go after marriage as straight people do.
(The Real Story)  

 

Bill ClintonThe Little Rock Airport Commission has scheduled a discussion to rename the airport the Bill and Hillary Clinton National Airport.  Of course, Hillary and Bill have separate runways.
(The Real Story)  

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Mar 15

Stiles Files for March 15, 2012

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filet mignonA study found eating a single serving of red meat per day may raise the risk of early death.  Meaning I don’t have to worry, because my meat is brown by the time I get through cooking it.
(The Real Story) 

 

Stephen HawkingStephen Hawking will guest-star on “The Big Bang Theory.”  CBS may use his brilliant mind while they have him to come up with a reason why “2 Broke Girls” is still on the air.
(The Real Story)  

 

RudolphA new high-speed railway in northern Sweden has already killed 200 reindeer in 3 months.  Locals call the train the “meat grinder.”  Thus ends the question of why Santa’s reindeer taught themselves how to fly.
(The Real Story)  

 

first baseAn LA area Little League can keep playing thanks to a $1,200 donation from a strip club near LAX airport.  The strippers feel a kinship with the players in that they both get a lot of singles.
(The Real Story)  

 

spring breakMyrtle Beach based Direct Air suspended all flights because they didn’t pay a fuel bill, leaving many spring break travelers stranded.  Clearly what’s needed is a hybrid jet that runs on fuel and stale beer.
(The Real Story)  

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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