May 10

Stiles Files for May 10, 2012

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Six Million Dollar ManClaire Lomas finished the London Marathon after 16 days even though she hasn’t been able to feel her legs for 5 years.  She did it in a $75,000 bionic suit.  Boy, if that’s as fast as the Six Million Dollar Man moved, he’d have never won that fight with Bigfoot.
(The Real Story) 

 

Fruit of the Loom guysUsing a double agent, the CIA thwarted a plot by al-Qaida’s affiliate in Yemen to destroy a US-bound airliner with an underwear bomb.  Double agent meaning what, he wore both Fruit of the Looms and Hanes?
(The Real Story)

 

TootsieA man who had a cardiac arrest while jogging in London’s Hyde Park says Dustin Hoffman saved his life.  Well, it wasn’t Dustin Hoffman.  It was a woman who looked like Tootsie, but nobody wants to disappoint the guy.
(The Real Story) 

 

ambulanceOklahoma City cops arrested a 72-year-old man for allegedly calling 911 to talk about sex.  Yeah, but most of the time a 72-year-old man thinks about sex, he’s going to need an ambulance, so it’s a legitimate call.
(The Real Story)

 

Backstreet BoysMichael Jackson’s former bodyguard claims Jacko was a paranoid maniac who ordered members of his inner circle to kill older brother Randy to stop a Jackson 5 reunion tour.  Such a shame Michael didn’t live…to stop the Backstreet Boys reunion.
(The Real Story) 

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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May 04

Stiles Files for May 4, 2012

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Joe BidenAn Obama ex wrote in a journal about him as the relationship ended.  She says his warmth can be deceptive, and when she told him she loved him, he said, “Thank you.”  The worst part was after Obama left, she was required to date Joe Biden.
(The Real Story) 

 

tan momThe NJ mom accused of letting her 5-year-old daughter use a tanning booth denies it.  She also denies telling the girl if she stayed in the room long enough, she’d turn into a yummy cookie.
(The Real Story)  

 

Tyler PerryInvestigators are looking for the cause of the fire that ripped through Tyler Perry’s Atlanta studios.  See all the details in the upcoming motion picture, “Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Burst Into Flames Part 2.”
(The Real Story)  

 

Paula DeanA CA teen is charged with stealing Food Network star Guy Fieri’s yellow Lamborghini from a dealership by repelling down from the roof.  Which coincidentally is how diabetic Paula Dean now sneaks down to her kitchen for cake.
(The Real Story)  

 

Charlotte's WebChina’s pigs create 1.5 million tons of pig poo a year.  So an Australian company is working to turn it into biofuel for cooking and heating.  This is one part of “Charlotte’s Web” I clearly missed.
(The Real Story)  

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Apr 26

Stiles Files for April 26, 2012

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Hunger GamesA new survey of young people shows that while they think Obama is going to win in November, he isn’t nearly as popular with them as he used to be.  Guess he should have taken that role in “The Hunger Games” he was offered.
(The Real Story) 

 

chessGOP IA Sen. Chuck Grassley wonders if the prostitutes in the Secret Service scandal were Russian spies.  He said, “Russians are famous for that to get information.”  They’re also famous for kicking our ass at chess, but that doesn’t mean we have to be paranoid about it.
(The Real Story)  

 

The ThinkerA think tank says Maine is the most peaceful state, and Louisiana is the least.  Think tanks regularly seek out the most peaceful states so they can think.
(The Real Story)  

 

flamethrowerA VA man and his wife are recovering after he accidentally shot himself and her during a firearms safety class.  That’s especially bad news since their flamethrower safety class is next week.
(The Real Story)  

 

Rocky MarcianoRosie O’Donnell says Lindsay Lohan is not capable of playing Liz Taylor in her biopic.  Hey, nobody said bad things about Rosie when she was up to star as boxer Rocky Marciano in his biopic.
(The Real Story)  

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Apr 21

Stiles Files for April 21, 2012

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IV bagA Vegas anesthesiologist offers a “cure” for hangovers in 45 minutes or less.  For $150, he connects you to an IV in his bus.  Great, but will he also stuff your pockets with the cash you lost at the tables the night before?
(The Real Story) 

 

Secret ServiceSpirit Airlines seized the Secret Service sex scandals as a marketing opportunity.  It’s a “More Bang For Your Buck!” sale on flights to Colombia.  You can even start a fight by refusing to pay, just like the real Secret Service!
(The Real Story)  

 

Chris ChristieNJ Gov. Chris Christie insists he was listening, not sleeping, during a recent Springsteen concert.  A fan caught a photo of him with his head back and eyes closed.  Maybe he was just picturing himself as Vice President.
(The Real Story)  

 

Young coupleYoung Americans aren’t that eager to get drivers’ licenses or drive.  Who needs a car when parents these days let them have sex right there in the house?
(The Real Story)  

 

Shanghai SurpriseMadonna wasn’t happy 15-year-old daughter Lourdes was photographed smoking outside her high school.  Give her a break.  It’s not as if she did a remake of “Shanghai Surprise” or anything.
(The Real Story)  

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Apr 04

Stiles Files for April 4, 2012

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Supreme CourtThe Supreme Court ruled jailers can strip search people even after minor offenses.  Yet another reason for moms to tell kids to make sure they wear clean underwear every time they leave the house.
(The Real Story) 

 

CialisAnn Romney rejected that Mitt is “too stiff” by telling a radio host, “I guess we better unzip him and let the real Mitt Romney out!”  Is she helping him campaign or doing an endorsement for Cialis?
(The Real Story)  

 

burned handEvidence reveals we may have used controlled fire a million years ago.  Singed finger bones also show the first redneck to have a bottle rocket blow up in his hand may have occurred thousands of years earlier than first thought.
(The Real Story)  

 

girlsA study shows you’re never happier than you are at age 33.  Not coincidentally, that’s right before the age at which girls you’d be interested in start calling you “sir.”
(The Real Story)  

 

Ron PaulTurns out Rick Perry was under the influence of painkillers during his troubled debates to help relieve severe back pain.  And it was Ron Paul who prescribed them.
(The Real Story)  

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Jun 03

Stiles Files for June 3, 2011

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(Delayed 24 hours for radio/TV clients)

 

Will Smith is not dead.  Internet jokesters claimed he fell off a cliff in New Zealand while filming a movie there.  Hey, it was 3 months before I finally accepted that his daughters “Whip My Hair” song wasn’t a joke.

 

A meowing Australian senator made trouble after his cat imitation directed at the female Finance Minister sparked accusations the opposition behaved like sexists and goons.  He later apologized.  Once they got him down out of the tree.

 

Retired pilot “Sully” Sullenberger starts his new job at CBS News as an aviation expert.  Sully is regarded as a perfect fit for CBS News since he’s so good and bringing crippled things in for a crash landing.

 

Italy foiled an attempt by North Korea to import tap-dancing shoes in breach of a UN ban on the sale of luxury goods to Pyongyang.  Speaking of dancing, did you know one of North Korea’s most popular TV shows is “So You Think You Can Eat”?

 

Elephants from the Picadilly Circus have been helping with post-tornado cleanup in Joplin, MO, moving cars and other heavy debris.  The poodles that can ride scooters, however, are less than helpful.

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

 

©2010, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com

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