Apr 25

Japanese soccer ballA soccer ball drifted from Japan after the tsunami all the way to Alaska, where it was recently found.  It was ruled out of bounds.
(The Real Story) 


 

Hugh Hefner86-year-old Hugh Hefner thanked Chicago, where he began Playboy in the early 50s, in a newspaper editorial.  They closed their Chicago offices to consolidate in LA.  Being 86, Hef was the only one left reading the newspaper.
(The Real Story)  


 

hazmat suitA VA teacher was charged with 12 felony counts for allegedly pulling a gun that shoots blanks on his vocational welding students and firing several times.  His defense was it gave the hazardous waste disposal class a chance to mop underneath the students after the incident.
(The Real Story)  


 

prom queenA TX prom queen whose fellow students donated over $17,000 to her charity was arrested and accused of faking cancer.  Other girls at the school were viciously jealous of her for being thin enough to successfully fake cancer.
(The Real Story)  


 

Roger RabbitStarbucks is announcing a partnership to open a store inside each of the 6 Disney properties in FL and CA.  Disney is aiming to remake itself as the “jitteriest place on Earth.”
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Jan 12

Bookmark the main Stiles Files site for the 10 funniest things on the web daily

 

Iranian rescueUS sailors rescued some Iranian fishermen for the 2nd time in less than a week.  5 days ago, 13 Iranian fishermen were saved from Somali pirates.  Are they shutting down the Strait of Hormuz by keeping us busy rescuing them?
(The Real Story) 


 

Disney castleA 7-year-old boy with cancer was granted his wish to blow up a massive grain silo in OH.  They were going to take him to Disney World, but he asking where Cindrella’s Castle’s structural weak points were.
(The Real Story) 


 

ScrewdriverA CA woman is suing the maker of Tropicana, saying it’s not “100% pure and natural” as claimed.  She says it’s put through extensive processing, and she demands her orange juice be pure and natural when she puts vodka in it.
(The Real Story) 


 

deep dish pizzaA study found nicotine-replacing gums and patches failed to help smokers who quit stay off cigarettes.  Likewise, duct taping a slice of deep-dish pizza to your back does not curb the desire the eat one.
(The Real Story)  


 

kd langk.d. lang is done with longtime girlfriend Jamie Price.  She’s dissolving their domestic partnership.  k.d. says it’s a very difficult time emotionally, but she fully expects to man up.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Dec 01

Bookmark the main Stiles Files site for the 10 Funniest Things on the Web Daily

 

Herman CainHerman Cain is reportedly considering ending his presidential bid after a woman emerged claiming a 13-year affair.  He was with her the whole time he was battling cancer?  That’s one hell of a Make-a-Wish Foundation request.
(The Real Story)


 

sleeping manResearch shows dreams help us recover from a bad day.  The brain uses that time to process emotional experiences in a “safe” environment.  I’d hardly call being at work without any pants on a “safe environment.”
(The Real Story)


 

babyA woman gave birth in a restroom at Baltimore’s airport right after arriving on a flight.  She held out for fear of being charged on board for the extra ticket.
(The Real Story)


 

Melissa EtheridgeMies Contatiner, a new restaurant in South Korea, has all male staffers dressed as macho construction workers.  Mies Contatiner translates in English to “Melissa Etheridge is never going to eat here.”
(The Real Story)


 

Joel Osteen“Survivor’s” Mark Burnett is teaming up with Joel Osteen for a network show.  There’ll be a tribal council like on “Survivor,” except they’re going to call it “Judgment Day.”
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com
    @mikestiles

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Oct 05

The Blog Monologue

 

casketA researcher was awarded the Nobel Prize, 3 days after dying of pancreatic cancer.  The prize was for physics for the man’s groundbreaking work in bad timing.


 

homelessA study shows playing soccer 2-3 times a week could improve health among homeless men.  The game is especially healthy for them, because if they stop moving at any time during it, a cop hassles them for loitering.


 

MadonnaMadonna will be the halftime performer for Super Bowl XLVI.  At 53, she’s actually considered “safe.”  They figure even if she does try to take her clothes off, she moves slow enough they’ll have time to point the cameras somewhere else.


 

raveA rescue chopper spotted a little girl who was lost in the woods thanks to her glow-in the-dark necklace.  She was camping with her family in CA when she wandered off on her own…obviously looking for a rave.


 

kickerMichigan’s Brianna Amat kicked a 31-yard, game-winning field goal for her varsity football team…right after being crowned homecoming queen.  Upon graduating, Brianna plans to play for the NY Jets, where she will harass herself.


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

 

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com    @mikestiles

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Jan 18

(Delayed 24 hours for radio/TV clients)

A new study says just the first few puffs on a cigarette can within minutes cause genetic damage linked to cancer.  I know I always have a tremendous urge to change my DNA after sex.


Nebraska’s 17-year-old Teresa Scanlan was named Miss America, becoming the youngest ever.  Her talent was piano.  She went with that after her advisors told her “speed texting” isn’t exactly considered a talent.


The Obama administration will allow for more US travel to Cuba.  Opponents say it will bring economic benefits to the communist Cuban regime.  I don’t know, can you prop up a whole communist regime by selling “My parents went to Cuba and all I got was this lousy t-shirt” souvenirs?


A UFC fighter is on leave from his job at a MN high school after he challenged Obama to a fight.  I don’t know…I heard Obama had an octagon put in next to the White House basketball court.


A 9-year-old boy’s dream trip to Disney was ruined when US immigration ruled there was a risk he wouldn’t leave at the end of his trip.  Can you seek political asylum in the Swiss Family Robinson tree house?


Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

©2010, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com

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