May 11

GleeObama said he now supports same-sex marriage.  Somebody in the communications office is asleep at the wheel.  You always bring in the cast of “Glee” for an announcement like that.
(The Real Story) 


 

soldierAn 84-year-old PA man wounded a home invasion suspect with the gun he carried back when he was in the Korean War.  He did such a good job he rewarded himself with a 3-day pass to Seoul.
(The Real Story)  


 

jailIn the WV Democratic Presidential Primary, Keith Judd, or Inmate 11593-051 at a federal prison in TX, ran against Obama and got over 40% of the vote.  Pretty good considering his platform consisted only of “fewer beatings with a bar of soap in a towel.”
(The Real Story) 


 

Jonas BrothersBroadway’s “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying,” starring Nick Jonas, didn’t succeed.  It probably should have stuck with the original title, “How to Succeed Without the Other Two Jonas Brothers.”
(The Real Story)  


 

overloaded electrical outletA cash-strapped NY town cancelled Fourth of July fireworks.  Instead, they’re going to gather around and overload an electrical outlet.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Mar 07

PinocchioNewly elected Egyptian Islamist lawmaker Anwar el-Balkimy was unceremoniously kicked out of his political party after it was revealed he got a nose job and lied about it.  Hm, that’s not the kind of job our politicians get kicked out of office for getting.
(The Real Story) 


 

The Deer HunterUniversal Pictures Stage Productions is developing a musical based on the 1978 film “National Lampoon’s Animal House.”  I will say it’s got peppier dance numbers than “The Deer Hunter – The Musical.”
(The Real Story)  


 

mom tattooThousands of tattoo devotees pack into a temple in Thailand for an annual festival to renew their tats’ magic.  Men scream while imitating the creatures tattooed on their bodies.  Attendees scream even louder at the annual tattoo removal festival.
(The Real Story)  


 

popcornJoshua Thompson of Detroit hates what theaters charge for concessions.  So he sued AMC to lower prices.  His lawyer says he got tired of being taken advantage of.  He’s also tired of sneaking in a thermos of his own melted popcorn butter in his pants.
(The Real Story) 


 

Uncle BubbaA woman’s suing Paula Deen and her brother for harassment.  She was GM at Uncle Bubba’s in Savannah and says Bubba had porn at work and visited porn sites in the kitchen.  And when the turkey baster came out, everybody ran.
(The Real Story)  


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Oct 24

The Blog Monologue

Bernard MadoffBernie Madoff, in a NC prison for 150 years, says he’s popular there, like “a Mafia don.”  No wonder they like him.  He’s been selling them shares in a conjugal visits ponzi scheme.
(The Real Story)


Captain HookA prequel to “Peter Pan” is flying to Broadway.  “Peter and the Starcatcher” takes a look at Peter’s background…back when Captain Hook was the much less scary “Captain Hangnail.”
(The Real Story)


Glenn BeckMuammar Gaddafi got killed.  A fighter told the BBC he found him hiding in a hole with a golden pistol, which he said he only had because Glenn Beck told him what a good idea it was to invest in gold.
(The Real Story)


clown300 professional clowns in Mexico had a 4-day convention to hone their skills.  And they weren’t even aware of how racist the “14 clowns in one little car” routine is when performed by Hispanics.
(The Real Story)


crane gameA thief used a crane to literally lift a Jeep Wrangler off of an IN car lot.  A surveillance camera caught the whole thing.  Surveillance cameras at Chuck E. Cheese also caught them practicing on the crane game there for weeks.
(The Real Story)


Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com
    @mikestiles

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Mar 25

(Delayed 24 hours for radio/TV clients)

 

Researchers analyzing toxin levels in toenail clippings learned mercury from eating fish doesn’t raise the risk of heart disease or stroke.  Of course, if you have a habit of collecting and saving your clipped toenails, mercury may not be the biggest health issue you have.


 

Some transgender residents sued NYC over what they say are burdensome requirements to change the gender on their birth certificates.  The city requires proof of surgical procedures to do that.  Or at least a ticket stub proving you saw “Wicked.”


 

Russian President Medvedev hosted Deep Purple at his luxurious residence near Moscow.  He told them, “I could not imagine that I would be sitting here with you at this table like this.”  I think pretty much anybody who can meet their current $250 booking fee could sit at a table with Deep Puple, can’t they?


 

The military sent training material to troops to help open the ranks to gays.  It includes instructions on what to do if an officer sees 2 male Marines kissing in a shopping mall.  The answer: If it crosses acceptable boundaries, then a correction should be made.  Damn.  My answer was to creep up close to them and start humming porn music.


 

A mayoral candidate in Lakes Wales, FL is speaking out about his involvement with the KKK.  70-year-old John Paul Rogers was, in fact, a Grand Dragon.  Attempts by Rogers to say the KKK was merely a breakfast social group called the Krispy Kreme Kings was not believed by anyone.


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

©2010, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com

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Mar 15

(Delayed 24 hours for radio/TV clients)

 

Nonprofit “Archangel Ancient Tree Archive” is collecting tree genes to replant clones and restore ancient forests so they can clean the environment and absorb greenhouse gases.  A confused Forest Whitaker immediately went to a clinic to give a DNA sample.


 

Broadway’s “Spider-Man” suffered another technical glitch that left The Green Goblin dangling in midair for 3 minutes.  It took that long because when a stagehand was told “you’ve got a green goblin dangling,” he thought it meant he had something in his nose.


 

Tickets went on sale Saturday for shows in Detroit and Chicago next month called “Charlie Sheen Live: My Violent Torpedo of Truth.”  The show might be good, but seeing “Two and a Half Men” co-star Angus T. Jones outside the venue selling merchandise is going to be kind of a downer.


 

The head of Burger King apologized after telling some American students British women are unattractive and English food is “terrible.”  Not since the 1987 controversy in which Ronald McDonald declared, “clowns aren’t funny” has the fast food industry been rocked so hard.


 

Gallagher is out of the hospital, 3 days after collapsing on stage during a show.  He’s canceled a few tour dates but will be resuming his tour March 19 in TX.  Hospital officials are happy to be rid of him because going after colostomy bags with a mallet is not conducive to a smooth running health facility.


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

©2010, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com

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Jan 27

(Delayed 24 hours for radio/TV clients)

Taco Bell is accused of false advertising for referring to beef in its products.  The suit claims their meat mixture contains binders and extenders and doesn’t meet the USDA minimum requirements to be labeled “beef.”  Binders and extenders?  Sounds like a typical day of the cast of Jersey Shore getting ready for filming.


An amateur VA historian denies changing the date on a pardon issued by Abe Lincoln to make it appear to be his final official act before he was assassinated.  It’s also assumed Lincoln’s 1999 ballot for the People’s Choice Awards is also a fake.


An Argentine woman survived after jumping from the 23rd floor of a downtown Buenos Aires hotel, landing on a taxi.  A casting director for the Spiderman Broadway show standing nearby screamed, “Hire her!!”


A survey showed most people think texting, Facebook and other online tools make people jump in bed faster.  Wait, are they talking about real beds or getting together in a hay loft in Farmville?


An ex-Miss Teen Arkansas USA, arrested last weekend for public intoxication, is “mortified” and says she’s sorry if she brought any shame on her state.  So, her talent during the pageant being “beer pong” didn’t set off any warning bells?


Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

©2010, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com

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Sep 09

(Delayed 24 hours for radio/TV clients)

ObamaThe White House East Room will be the setting for Michelle Obama’s new dance series.  There’ll be workshops in ballet, modern, hip hop and Broadway.  Then for a finale, Barack will dance around his poll numbers.


FarmvilleA Japanese journalist held hostage in Afghanistan for 5 months managed to send out a tweet when his captors asked him how to use a cell phone.  Of course, he could have got them hooked on Farmville and walked right out unnoticed.


Lance BurtonThe Monte Carlo casino-resort in Vegas replaced magician Lance Burton with a hip-hop dance crew from “America’s Best Dance Crew.”  Casino officials say the only thing that could possibly interfere with the dance crew deal is if they all got sawed in half.


Designer Diane von Furstenberg helped the Cleveland Clinic create a more stylish hospital gown.  But imagine the horror female patients will have when they see all the other women patients are wearing the same gown they are.


SnookiThere’s a derogatory nickname for summer tourists who visit the Jersey shore: FOOTs.  It’s an acronym for “Out Of Towners” preceded by an obscenity.  Many locals resent visitors, blaming them for noise, traffic and trash.  I thought they were proud of their trash.  After all, they gave them their own reality TV show.


Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  www.notoriousdadmusic.com

©2010, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com

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