Apr 26

flashdanceThe stage adaptation of the 1983 movie “Flashdance” can’t find a Broadway theater.  However there is a woman in Times Square that will sit in a chair and let you dump a bucket of water on her for $5.


obamaObama says they told their girls if they ever got a tattoo, he and Michelle would get the same tattoo.  The girls plan to outsmart him by getting tattoos that say “The Sequester Was My Idea.”


koalaKoala numbers are plummeting in Australia due to chlamydia.  Hey, when a girl koala agrees to come over to your place for some eucalyptus leaves, you don’t take the time to ask her about her past.


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@TheStilesFiles

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Jan 03

Bookmark the main Stiles Files site for the 10 funniest things on the web daily

 

Lady GagaIran announced a nuclear fuel breakthrough and test-fired a new radar-evading medium-range missile in the Gulf.  But they admit they can not figure out what Lady Ga Ga was supposed to be dressed as New Year’s Eve.
(The Real Story) 

 

KFC bucketNorth Korea called on its people to rally behind new leader Kim Jong-un and protect him as “human shields” while working to solve the “burning issue” of food shortages.  Many citizens pointed out they would make much better human shields if allowed to eat and gain weight.
(The Real Story)  

 

Carrot ManA Swedish woman who lost her wedding ring 16 years ago found it around a carrot in her garden!  Unfortunately, thanks to Swedish tradition, she now has to marry the carrot.
(The Real Story)  

 

Newt Gingrich47-year-old Wynonna Judd got engaged to her boyfriend, Cactus Moser, Christmas Eve.  He’s a drummer with country group Highway 101.  This will be her 3rd marriage, which puts her solidly behind Newt Gingrich in the polls.
(The Real Story)  

 

Village PeopleTo usher in 2012, Kate Middleton’s little sis Pippa threw a giant teepee party, with Kate and Will in attendance.  The teepee cost $4600 and included a dance floor.  It was foreclosed on when the Indian from the Village People could no longer afford it.
(The Real Story)  

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

 

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Dec 15

Bookmark the main Stiles Files site for the 10 funniest things on the web daily

 

doctor3 docs put out a book, “Stuck Up! 100 Objects Inserted and Ingested in Places They Shouldn’t Be.”  It includes items like 4 Barbie doll heads, light bulbs, tools, cell phones, and reading glasses.  The book features patients who, not coincidentally, request a colonoscopy 7 times a year.
(The Real Story)


 

old ladyIran rejected Obama’s request they give us our secret spy drone back.  Iranian news agencies ridiculed and had great fun with Obama’s plea.  Iran is the international version of the crazy old lady who won’t give your football back when it goes into her yard.
(The Real Story)


 

Kim KardashianA Verizon “emergency” alert went out Monday, texted to wireless customers in NJ, that said there was a civil emergency and everyone should take shelter immediately.  It was meant to be a test but somebody forgot to label it as such.  Kind of like a Kardashian marriage.
(The Real Story)


 

Drew BreesNew Orleans Saints QB Drew Brees is making a special appearance on “Sesame Street.”  Elmo counts out Brees’ annual salary in a segment that will be spread out over 289 episodes.
(The Real Story)


 

car crashThe National Transportation Safety Board called for a nationwide ban on the use of cell phones and text messaging devices while driving.  It would not apply to hands-free devices.  And no, it’s not the car that’s a hands-free device.
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Dec 13

Bookmark the main Stiles Files site for the 10 funniest things on the web daily

 

Mitt RomneyAt the GOP debate in Des Moines, Mitt Romney tried to get Rick Perry to bet him $10,000 he was wrong about something in Romney’s book.  Then when Perry refused, Romney put a cigar in his mouth and lit it with the $10,000 bill, laughing maniacally.
(The Real Story)


 

MercuryIs a cloaked alien ship orbiting Mercury?  A solar flare appears to hit a hidden object cylindrical on either side with a shape in the middle.  If it is a ship, it’s probably full of elderly aliens who wanted to be near Mercury to escape the harsh winters.
(The Real Story)


 

Easy Bake OvenResearch found the culprit of a 2009 E. coli outbreak was prepackaged cookie dough.  77 people from 30 states became ill from the bad batter.  If this is the case, how did countless generations survive the Easy-Bake Oven?
(The Real Story)


 

Hulk HoganHulk Hogan is suing his ex, claiming she lied about him having homosexual encounters in her new book.  Um, when you wear shredded red and yellow tank tops, you pretty much have to expect us to assume there was at least some homoerotic activity going on.
(The Real Story)


 

Vegas signRunners who participated in the Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon in Vegas say water passed out during the race made them sick.  The drinks came from lined trash cans filled with hydrant water.  And, it being Vegas, runners were obligated to a 2-drink minimum.
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com
    @TheStilesFiles

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Dec 08

Bookmark the main Stiles Files site for the 10 funniest things on the web daily

 

Mama MiaThe Obama administration is announcing a wide-ranging effort to use US foreign aid to promote rights for gays and lesbians abroad.  The money will be used to stage a touring production of “Mama Mia.”
(The Real Story)


 

left handResearch shows left-handed people are at higher risk of ADHD, dyslexia and schizophrenia.  The good news is they’re better at divergent thinking and developing new concepts.  Which according to many moms, can make you go blind.
(The Real Story)


 

crocodileA species of crocodile has been taken off the endangered list thanks to a nuclear power plant in southeastern FL.  They love the cooling canals around the plant for breeding.  They also love being 20 feet high and able to shoot lasers out of their eyes.
(The Real Story)


 

Human LeagueConcertgoers who bought tickets through Ticketmaster will soon get a $1.50 credit on up to 17 tickets they bought they can use on future purchases.  It’s enough to get you back row to the Human League reunion tour.
(The Real Story)


 

lunch ladyState schools in Spain have been ordered to cut “excessive consumption” of toilet paper and set a limit of about 82 feet per child per month.  Well, that’s all kind of up to the cooks in the cafeteria isn’t it?
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC

www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Dec 07

Bookmark the main Stiles Files site for the 10 funniest things on the web daily

 

Occupy Wall StreetTracy Postert used to be an Occupy Wall Street protester.  But then she got hired by a big financial brokerage…on Wall Street.  They knew she was from the Occupy movement because when asked what her salary demands were, she couldn’t come up with any.
(The Real Story)


 

Joan RiversDonald Trump says he will not ask about Obama’s birthplace when he moderates a Republican debate in Des Moines later this month.  But he will send all candidates into the streets teamed with Piers Morgan and Joan Rivers to compete in fundraising challenges.
(The Real Story)


 

Telemundo soap operaWhen a WI mom collapsed with severe asthma, her 10-year-old daughter called 911, did chest compressions and started mouth-to-mouth.  She said she learned how by watching “Grey’s Anatomy.”  Well, actually she learned the mouth-to-mouth from watching Spanish soap operas.
(The Real Story)


 

Treasury DepartmentA Detroit mom traded her 4-bedroom home worth $96,000 for a 2006 Chevy minivan with 85,000 miles on it.  She says, “I really feel like I made a good decision.”  I think we’ve found a good new prospect for Secretary of the Treasury!
(The Real Story)


 

Christmas presentsA SC woman admitted to killing a 67-year-old family friend in FL and leaving her body under a pile of Christmas presents in her own home.  Sadly, the family picked her up, shook her and still couldn’t figure out what she was.
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com
    @TheStilesFiles

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Dec 06

Bookmark the main Stiles Files site for the 10 funniest things on the web daily

 

Flintstone vitaminsPre-1982 penny hoarding is all the rage because they’re made with 95% copper.  Not that metals have become valuable, but there are entire criminal operations set up solely to extract the iron out of Flintstones vitamins.
(The Real Story)


 

SonicA report given to a high-level advisory group in Saudi Arabia claims allowing women to drive could encourage premarital sex.  Apparently, Sonic is a really hot pickup place in Saudi Arabia.
(The Real Story)


 

dumpsterTexas Christian University sociology professor Jeff Ferrell sifts through dumpsters and gives what he finds to the needy or friends.  He also tends to find a lot of college sociology degrees in dumpsters since that’s about what they’re worth.
(The Real Story)


 

KC & the Sunshine BandThe Epilepsy Foundation warned that people prone to certain types of seizures might want to skip the new Twilight movie.  The birth scene involves a strobe effect that can trigger attacks.  Who uses a strobe light during childbirth?  KC & the Sunshine Band?
(The Real Story)


 

Stevie WonderThere’s a rumor Stevie Wonder may be a contestant on “Dancing with the Stars.”  For that particular season, the dance floor would be expanded to 40 x 42 yards.
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com
    @TheStilesFiles

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Dec 02

Bookmark the main Stiles Files site for the 10 Funniest Things on the Web Daily

 

Selena GomezJohn Hinckley Jr., who tried to kill Reagan to impress Jodie Foster, is trying to get more visits outside his mental hospital.  Officials feel Obama could be in danger because Hinckley’s now kinda hot for Selena Gomez.
(The Real Story)


 

cell tower treeThe Eiffel Tower may soon become the world’s tallest tree, after a proposed plan to cover the 1,063 ft. structure with plants.  But that certainly doesn’t beat our “cell towers disguised as trees” concept here in the US.
(The Real Story)


 

Wall-EIn South Korea, they’ve started testing $864,000 robot prison guards.  Critics give it one week before they’re captured, torn apart and sold as shanks.
(The Real Story)


 

Burger KingBurger King changed its French fry recipe to make them thicker, crisper and hotter.  They have yet to accept our “ketchup embedded in each fry” suggestion.
(The Real Story)


 

walmartAt least 2 people were jabbed by syringes found in clothing at a Walmart in GA over the past 2 weeks.  Trying to put a positive spin on it, Walmart sent out fliers reading, “We’re Vaccinating You Against High Prices!”
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com
    @mikestiles

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Dec 01

Bookmark the main Stiles Files site for the 10 Funniest Things on the Web Daily

 

Herman CainHerman Cain is reportedly considering ending his presidential bid after a woman emerged claiming a 13-year affair.  He was with her the whole time he was battling cancer?  That’s one hell of a Make-a-Wish Foundation request.
(The Real Story)


 

sleeping manResearch shows dreams help us recover from a bad day.  The brain uses that time to process emotional experiences in a “safe” environment.  I’d hardly call being at work without any pants on a “safe environment.”
(The Real Story)


 

babyA woman gave birth in a restroom at Baltimore’s airport right after arriving on a flight.  She held out for fear of being charged on board for the extra ticket.
(The Real Story)


 

Melissa EtheridgeMies Contatiner, a new restaurant in South Korea, has all male staffers dressed as macho construction workers.  Mies Contatiner translates in English to “Melissa Etheridge is never going to eat here.”
(The Real Story)


 

Joel Osteen“Survivor’s” Mark Burnett is teaming up with Joel Osteen for a network show.  There’ll be a tribal council like on “Survivor,” except they’re going to call it “Judgment Day.”
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com
    @mikestiles

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Nov 30

Bookmark the main Stiles Files site for the 10 Funniest Things on the Web Daily

 

pepper sprayA strong start to the shopping season sent stocks sharply higher.  People who used pepper spray on other traders are the ones who got the best stock deals.
(The Real Story)


 

car fireGM insists its Chevy Volt is safe even after 3 of the Volt’s electric batteries caught fire after safety tests.  Isn’t the solution obvious?  Develop cars that run on fire.
(The Real Story)


 

pole dancerThe price of the items in the “Twelve Days of Christmas” went over $100,000 for the first time.  If you’re an NBA player in a Vegas VIP lounge, dancing ladies alone can run up a $30,000 tab.
(The Real Story)


 

fatA Cleveland 3rd grader who weighed over 200 lbs. was taken from his mom for medical neglect.  Just as well.  The other kids were tired of him always bringing in “bad cholesterol” for show and tell.
(The Real Story)


 

Frosty the SnowmanA man in a Frosty the Snowman costume was arrested during a Christmas parade in MD for fighting with police and kicking at a police dog.  Tense as the situation was, no one could stop laughing when cops ordered him to freeze.
(The Real Story)


 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)

©2011, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com
    @mikestiles

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