Feb 22

Stiles Files for February 22, 2012

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mobile videoYouTube is creating tons more original programming since 18-34 year olds are watching video on phones, tablets and computers.  What’s sad are the ones who watch the same video over and over on their phone and complain there’s nothing on but repeats.
(The Real Story) 

 

wedgieA growing number of teens and even younger kids who think they were born the wrong sex are getting support from parents and docs who give them sex-changing treatments.  These include getting an atomic wedgie in PE.
(The Real Story)  

 

cowThe world’s first “test-tube” meat, a burger made from a cow’s stem cells, will be produced this fall.  No way!  Before I eat a burger I demand to know who the father is!
(The Real Story)  

 

Chris TuckerBritain is facing a “massive” rise in antibiotic-resistant blood poisoning caused by E.coli, bringing closer the possibility of diseases impossible to treat.  Officials say the diseases resist antibiotics like Chris Tucker resists taxes.
(The Real Story)  

 

Elton JohnElton John came down with a nasty case of food poisoning in Vegas and had to cancel a show at Caesars Palace.  His stomach was so bad, he was lighting candles in the wind just as a courtesy to those near the restroom.
(The Real Story)  

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Feb 21

Stiles Files for February 21, 2012

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Secret World of AriettyDisney’s English version of the Japanese animated hit “The Secret World of Arrietty” opened 9th.  That’s not to be confused with “The Secret World of Aereola,” which is not a Disney movie.
(The Real Story) 

 

Rick PerryA Swedish man was dug out alive after being snowed in to his car for 2 months.  Humans can normally go 4 weeks without food, but he went into a dormant-like state.  Kinda like Rick Perry did during debates.
(The Real Story) 

 

smurfCalcutta’s chief minister ordered their 14 million residents to all be painted sky blue to mark the new government motto “the sky is the limit.”  It will also be the subject of a new film sure to win Academy Awards, “Slumdog Smurf.”
(The Real Story)  

 

nurseA 2nd NC preschool mom says her daughter’s lunch from home was deemed not nutritional enough and she was made to eat in the cafeteria.  What’s more, many male students stopped going to school after hearing there were now daily “sack checks.”
(The Real Story)  

 

Miley CyrusMiley Cyrus got a new tattoo.  She put “Love Never Dies” put on the inside of her left bicep.  Fortunately, there’s still room inside her right bicep to soon tattoo “Available for Bar Mitzvahs.”
(The Real Story)  

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Feb 18

Stiles Files for February 18, 2012

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Apple MacApple released a developer preview of an update for the Mac operating system, dubbed “Mountain Lion.”  The name was chosen after the other candidate, “Overpriced Ostrich” was rejected.
(The Real Story) 

 

diving horseAtlantic City’s Steel Pier is dropping a plan to bring back the legendary attraction from the 1920’s that featured a horse and a rider plunging into a 12-foot-deep water tank from 40 feet.  Wow, thanks for spoiling the ending to Steven Spielberg’s “Warhorse” for me.
(The Real Story)  

 

Wile E. Coyote36-year-old Ludovic Masciave was driving in the French Alps when a 20-ton boulder crashed onto the roof of his car.  Officials were stunned he survived until they found out his grandfather was Wile E. Coyote.
(The Real Story)  

 

Def LeppardWhite House party crasher Tareq Salahi sued wife Michaele, claiming she had an affair with Journey guitarist Neil Schon to make money for herself and the band.  Also, she’s being sued by Def Leppard and Foreigner for not dating anyone in their bands, thereby depriving them of publicity.
(The Real Story)  

 

Niagara FallsCanada agreed to let a member of the Flying Wallendas try a tightrope walk over Niagara Falls this summer.  The family gained legitimate fame back in the 60’s once they changed their name from the “Falling Wallendas.”
(The Real Story)  

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Feb 17

Stiles Files for February 17, 2012

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triple bypass burgerA man had a heart attack after eating a “triple bypass burger” at the Heart Attack Grill in Vegas.  It’s not as if he overate, he told them to hold the lettuce.
(The Real Story) 

 

Ashton Kuther, Demi MoorePrince Will and Kate are getting a Barbie limited edition “William and Catherine Royal Wedding Gift Set.”  The series also featured Edward and Bella of “Twilight.”  The Ashton Kutcher/Demi Moore set is fun too.  You get to separate them right out of the box.
(The Real Story)  

 

StarbucksStarbucks is facing allegations from a job applicant who claimed he was discriminated against because he has half an arm.  It’s believed he would have reminded customers coffee there costs an arm and a leg.
(The Real Story)  

 

ping pong paddleSusan Sarandon donated $75,000 to support Ping Pong in NYC public schools.  The money will pay for equipment and coaching.  That’s sure not what paddles were used for at my school.
(The Real Story)  

 

Dave MustaineDave Mustaine, leader of Megadeth, is a Rick Santorum supporter!  He says Obama’s not doing a good job.  Of course, he also thinks “Keystone Pipeline” was a band from Canada Obama wouldn’t let perform here.
(The Real Story) 

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Feb 16

Stiles Files for February 16, 2012

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Tom BradyAll the remaining candidates can tout first place finishes in at least one state, except for Ron Paul.  Despite heavy investment in caucus states, he has yet to win one.  That’s okay.  Tom Brady can’t come in first anymore but he still keeps trying too.
(The Real Story) 

 

TwinkieWorkers at Hostess, maker of Twinkies, Ho Hos and Wonder Bread, have threatened to strike if the company imposes “unfair” contract terms like wage cuts.  Most workers are rejecting “all the cream filling you want” as part of their official compensation package.
(The Real Story)  

 

OprahOprah got in trouble with ratings company Nielsen for specifically encouraging Nielsen families to watch her new interview show on OWN.  Obviously it was also wrong of her to offer free cars to every Nielsen family who watched too.
(The Real Story)  

 

WD-40Director Michael Bay plans a 4th installment in “Transformers.”  This one is going to have lots of obvious product placement in it…mostly WD40.
(The Real Story)  

 

Robin WilliamsLast week, a video surfaced claiming to show a live woolly mammoth crossing a river in Russia.  It became an Internet sensation, but turned out to be a hoax.  Turns out it was just a Robin Williams movie.
(The Real Story)  

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Feb 15

Stiles Files for February 15, 2012

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catA fake Twitter account claiming to belong to Cat Fancy Magazine that published “disturbing things, often against cats,” was shut down.  The offenders have now set up a new site called Icanhasfaketwitteraccount.com
(The Real Story) 

 

keystone pipelineThe White House invited kids to show off their inventions, turning the East Room into a science fair.  The kid whose project was to run a pipeline from Canada to Texas however, was not even allowed in the door.
(The Real Story)  

 

MadonnaAdele says she’s done with breakup and heartache songs.  She’s afraid people think she’s miserable.  In a related story, Madonna says she’s done with songs that become hits.
(The Real Story) 

 

surrenderA film about Nazis from the moon invading Earth is a hot ticket in Berlin.  “Iron Sky” imagines Hitler’s surviving henchmen set up a swastika-shaped lunar colony in 1945, waiting to strike back.  Before they heard it was just a movie, France surrendered.
(The Real Story)  

 

TideA 53-year-old MN man was arrested for stealing $6000 worth of Tide detergent from a retailer.  The guy’s a pro.  For instance, when he shoplifts clothes, he always steals whites and colors separately.
(The Real Story)  

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Feb 11

Stiles Files for February 11, 2012

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female soldierThe Pentagon is planning to let women serve in thousands of military jobs closer to the front lines.  They’re being told to think of being on patrol as “shopping for the enemy.”
(The Real Story) 

 

Osama bin LadenJudicial Watch is suing the Defense Dept. and CIA for release of “all photos and/or video recordings” taken on the night bin Laden was killed.  They’re working to make sure bin Laden’s Facebook Timeline is accurate and complete.
(The Real Story)  

 

dog attackA Denver anchor was doing a heartwarming segment on a rescued dog when it decided to bite her in the face.  She was taken to the hospital for reconstructive surgery.  Next week’s feature, topical creams that reduce scarring!
(The Real Story)  

 

FebrezeAn elementary school teacher Canada was put on paid leave for spraying a student with Febreze to mask his fishy-smelling lunch.  She also used dryer sheets on students who are too clingy.
(The Real Story)  

 

Oil Can BoydFormer Red Sox pitcher Dennis “Oil Can” Boyd admitted two-thirds of the time he was on the mound, he was under the influence of cocaine.  He was famous for trying to snort the 3rd base line during the 7th inning stretch.
(The Real Story)  

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Feb 10

Stiles Files for February 10, 2012

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Ann RomneyRick Santorum stunned Mitt Romney, winning the Colorado and Minnesota caucuses, and Missouri’s nonbinding primary.  Mitt’s wife was caught on camera yelling, “Mitt can’t campaign for the [expletive] votes and [expletive] cast the votes!”
(The Real Story)

 

blood pressure machineSpermCheck, a male fertility test, will soon be in Walgreen’s and CVS.  Of course, it will be terribly awkward when guys mistake the free blood pressure check machine for the SpermCheck.
(The Real Story)

 

Gary BuseyGary Busey has filed for bankruptcy with less than $50,000 in assets.  And every movie studio in town has turned down his idea to make a sequel to “The Buddy Holly Story” where he comes back as a zombie.
(The Real Story)

 

Justice LeagueThe Model Alliance has been formed to make sure models aren’t mistreated.  Most evil masterminds would much rather be taken down by the Model Alliance than the Justice League.
(The Real Story)

 

carChicago must decide what to do about a vehicle sticker design containing gang symbols tied to the Maniac Latin Disciples.  It also doesn’t help that the slogan on car tags says, “This is My Ride Bitches!”
(The Real Story)

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Feb 09

Stiles Files for February 9, 2012

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Joyful NoiseThe Dunning family of Davis, CA has vowed to do absolutely no discretionary spending for the entire month of February.  That’s a lot to go through just to avoid having to take his wife to go see “Joyful Noise.”
(The Real Story) 

 

Pepe Le PewA new book claims French moms are better than US moms, saying “French children aren’t constantly talking back or engaging in prolonged negotiations.”  They wait until they’re grown up and talking to American tourists to do all that.
(The Real Story)  

 

Human TorchMarvel is updating the origin of the Fantastic Four this week to make it more contemporary.  In the updated version, The Human Torch gets fined by the EPA every time he lights up without first applying for a burn permit.
(The Real Story)  

 

Barbecue RibsJack in the Box has rolled out the Bacon Shake.  It isn’t made with real bacon, but with bacon flavored syrup.  You might want to try it as soon as you finish your barbecue rib Blizzard at Dairy Queen.
(The Real Story)  

 

babyMoms held a rally outside Facebook offices in Austin, staging “nurse-ins” to protest the site’s practice of labeling photos of breastfeeding as obscene.  Instead of using a Facebook Check-in, they’re using a Latch-on.
(The Real Story)  

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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Feb 08

Stiles Files for February 8, 2012

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drag queenGoldman Sachs’ Lloyd Blankfein became the first major CEO to support same-sex marriage.  Probably not coincidentally, “Sachs Goldman” is his drag queen name.
(The Real Story) 

 

Malcolm XA Brown college student found a previously lost audiotape of Malcolm X’s 1961 address there.  He argued black Americans couldn’t wait for white Americans to offer them equality.  What he did not do was break into an Al Green song.
(The Real Story)  

 

Dairy Queen“Dr. Oz” has over 1 million participating in his “transformation nation” effort.  There are 7 steps, including: get moral support, join Weight Watchers, and learn your family health history.  Which step is “Go to Dairy Queen to celebrate”?
(The Real Story)  

 

Baseball playerNaked and Famous Denim is now selling a line of “scratch-n-sniff” men’s jeans that will smell like raspberry candy when scratched.  They should get baseball players to endorse them.  Nobody scratches their pants more than them.
(The Real Story)  

 

Michael JacksonA 9-year-old MN boy was suspended for grabbing his crotch during a rendition of Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” at a school lip-sync fundraiser.  Actually, grabbing the crotch of a 9-year-old boy is a dead-on accurate impression of Michael Jackson.
(The Real Story)  

 

Check out Mike’s alter ego, white, middle-aged suburban rapper Notorious D-A-D in his full length CD “Bumpin’ in the Burbs”!  http://www.notoriousdadmusic.com

 

(The Blog Monologue delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
©2012, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com    @TheStilesFiles

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